


Then whatever the future holds

by QueenC



Series: Before, Now, and Then [3]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Disabled Character, Fate & Destiny, M/M, Mentions of Suicide Attempt, Mild Angst, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, compliant with the events of S01 and S02
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:48:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27152030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenC/pseuds/QueenC
Summary: Everyone knows soulmate bonds are infallible. It's a thing you grow up learning as a universal truth: at some point in your life, you'll be drawn to one specific person that will suit you in every possible aspect.That is not the same to say this person will be the love of your life. Sure, for most people, it does work like that. But it's not always the case.Alex has a lot of questions. Charlie never doubts for once.
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Alex Standall
Series: Before, Now, and Then [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858336
Comments: 60
Kudos: 271





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO, GUYS! I'm back with my take on the soulmates trope! I've been sitting on this story for a while now because I don't usually like to publish works before I'm finished writing them, but this one has shown me it wants to be longer than I initially thought, lol. I was aiming to write five chapters for it, and now it's completely out of my hands. Hope you guys jump along for the ride! :D
> 
> This fic picks up right after where part 2 stopped, so I heavily advise you to read the other two installments in this series before starting on this one. Otherwise, a lot of things here won't make much sense.
> 
> And a little heads up: this fic is rated T cause everything I wrote so far falls into this rating, but it's possible it turns into M at some point. Also, since the story is not finished, it's likely I'll be adding some more tags along the way. But don't worry, in both cases I'll warn you guys beforehand in the notes if necessary.

##  **Thursday, May 10, 2018**

The ride to Monet's was a silent, slightly awkward one. Neither of them seemed to know what to say — and to be honest, Alex was still reeling from his very recent meltdown; thank God Zach was such a worried mother hen or things could be looking even worse. So in the end, Charlie just turned up the music and allowed the upbeat rhythm of a pop song to fill the space between them. It was one of those catchy, top-of-the-charts tunes that normally would make Alex cringe, but as it was, it oddly put him more at ease. It was good to have something to distract himself with. He could focus on the heavy, repetitive bass playing in the background instead of on the fast drumming of his heart in his chest.

He wondered if Charlie felt the same way, and fuck, he hoped not. Someone had to take the lead here. Alex hardly believed he was up to the task. 

They were lucky enough to find an empty parking spot just outside of Monet's. The heavy silence still prevailed between them as they made their way inside the cafe. Charlie only broke it to ask Alex what would he like to drink. The older boy answered with a blunt 'hot chocolate, with the little marshmallows on top' before they parted ways, Charlie heading to the line to order their drinks, and Alex roaming the place to find them a table.

He ended up choosing his favorite spot to occupy when he was alone. Alex had picked Monet's for a reason — the familiarity of the place soothed his nerves. The same could be said about his choice of drink — hot chocolate was his comfort drink. As he sat at his table, though, Alex pondered if inviting Charlie to a place that held such a personal meaning to him had been a good idea. He would forever now have memories of his soulmate here at his favorite cafe — what if things didn't pan out as expected? And weirdly, at the same time, part of his mind was entertaining the thought that maybe that spot could be upgraded soon, going from _his table_ to _their table_. Alex had no idea where was this notion coming from. 

His leg jittered nervously as he watched Charlie make a straight line back to him, drinks in his hands. Alex gritted his teeth. Zach was right, he could do this. He and Charlie didn't have to talk about the heavy stuff right away. 

“Here you go,” the younger boy chanted, sliding a steaming mug over the table towards Alex. “It's a bit warm for hot chocolate, isn't it?” Charlie asked, genuinely curious, as he took his seat opposite Alex with a tall plastic cup nested between his hands. 

Alex snorted a laugh, shrugging one shoulder self-consciously. “That's kind of my comfort drink. Doesn't really matter what's the weather like.” He nodded to Charlie's cup with an inquisitive look on his face. “What are you having?”

“Bubble tea,” answered Charlie, hands unclasping from around his cup to reveal a shockingly yellow beverage with black little balls resting at the bottom. Alex's eyebrows shot up. “It's a new favorite. I'm glad to learn they have them in various flavors here.”

“I'm scared to ask but I'll indulge you,” said Alex, amused. “What flavor did you choose?”

“This one's mango,” replied Charlie very worthily.

“That sounds disgusting,” declared Alex, scrunching up his nose. “I'm glad I finished my foray into this place's menu before they decided to up their game into weirdness like that.”

“I think I'm sensing some judgment on your tone, and it's a shame,” said Charlie in mock-disapproval, catching the straw between his lips and chugging one long gulp as if to prove a point. Alex was distracted for a second, both by the yellowness of the drink and also by Charlie's lips closing around the straw. “But I'm curious now. Did you seriously go through all of the drinks on their menu?”

Alex grinned, and he had to admit there was a tinge of pride in his tone when he nodded. “I did, yeah. Finished about two weeks ago or something.”

“That's a lot of commitment,” said Charlie, admired. “How was the ride?”

“Wild,” drawled Alex. “More downs than ups, if I'm being honest, and now apparently they're bringing in a new line of beverages. I'm not sorry to say I won't go down this rabbit hole again.”

Charlie laughed and struck a conversation about where he had first tried bubble tea, at a smaller coffee shop on the other side of the town. Which led to Alex asking why was he ambling over such surroundings, which led to Charlie answering he lived in the neighborhood of the old, refurbished big houses at Crestmont. And as they picked up on this thread of talk, Alex's fingers slowly eased their deathly grip around his hot chocolate mug as he grew more comfortable with their conversation once it seemed to stay clear of problematic, possibly too dark topics to approach on their first meeting. 

Charlie being surprisingly easy to talk to also counted a lot to tip the scale to good, light subjects. He was quick-witted and lively and always seemed to sense when a topic was nearing its end so he could start on another before they ran out of what to talk. Alex was thankful for that. If they had to rely on him for this conversation to flow, he was sure they would count on a lot of awkward silences and weird topics. He wasn't good at small talk, and it actually impressed him that Charlie could pull it off so effortlessly. 

He was probably so engrossed watching the younger boy talk — currently about the few guitar lessons he'd taken as a kid, once their chat had strayed to music preferences — that he left a question hanging unanswered for too long. Or maybe he'd been just flat out staring, it was also possible. The point is that when Alex caught up to himself, Charlie was smiling somewhat sheepishly, one hand scrubbing his face self-consciously. “What, do I have something on my face?”

Alex blinked and shook himself out of his stupor. “No, you look good,” he blurted out and then paused. It was like he had no control over what his mouth decided to voice out loud, and honestly, _so not the time._ “I mean. There's nothing wrong with your face. I just zoned out for a bit.”

“Fair enough,” nodded Charlie, reverting to what Alex was starting to assume was his usual confident, easy mode. “You look good too, I have to say.”

Alex was not one with a confident, easy mode, so he wasn't surprised when he felt his ears burning after the compliment. He grimaced, shaking his head with a wry smile. “That's the soulmate bond talking.”

And holy shit, _what the actual fuck_ had he just done addressing the elephant in the room like that? Their little elephant had been there, sitting at the table with them all this time, but so far they had made a good job of tiptoeing around it — and truth be told, it was all so very fine to Alex that they kept doing so. He didn't want to avoid the subject entirely but maybe — _maybe_ push it forwards, so forwards that they couldn't see it without squinting? Alex could settle for that. 

Except now that option was no longer on the table because Alex had said the damn word with all the letters — _S-O-U-L-M-A-T-E_ — and Charlie was staring at him with a frown on his face. 

“I don't think it is. I told you earlier today, I had noticed you before. It surely wasn't because I knew you were my soulmate back then.” And there went Charlie saying the word again, and Jesus, Alex was dizzy as fuck.

“Huh. Was it maybe because I tend to limp around the school with a cane?” Alex arched one eyebrow, reverting to his usual shield of defensive sarcasm. He could get away with that. He had built his life behind a wall of defensive sarcasm, sure it could help him save face one more time. 

“Not really that either,” countered Charlie, amused. “Well-- no, okay, I suppose a little of that went into it at first, but then it was more because we have some friends in common, and in the end, it was just because you're really, really cute.”

“Shut up.” Great, and now Alex could feel the heat spreading from his ears to his cheeks, and he knew he was blushing. He had to avert his gaze from the younger boy's smiling face. Jesus Christ. How had they gone from harmless music lessons to this? 

Charlie had the gall to chuckle, and Alex wanted to throw him a glare but didn't feel confident enough to turn his eyes back to him. “I can see you don't take well to compliments. Noted,” he saw Charlie nodding from the corner of his eye. Then the younger boy leaned over the table, elbows resting at the surface as he fixed his gaze on him. Alex darted his eyes away again. “I suppose life at school has made you feel like your cane is all everyone can see about you lately but I promise you that's not the case.”

That dragged Alex's focus back to Charlie's face. “Why?” He asked cautiously. “What do you know?”

Charlie's expression was open and honest as he shrugged. “Literally nothing. I never bothered with hallway talk. I don't think anyone could tell your story better than yourself.” He smiled softly. “So I'm kind of counting on learning it directly from you.”

And wasn't that a surprise. Alex couldn't lie — he was relieved that Charlie wasn't one to listen to the school gossip (because some of the theories he'd heard about what had happened to him were so exaggerated Alex had to give his schoolmates kudos on their creativity) but that also meant he would have to tell him everything literally from scratch when the time came. The idea sat uncomfortably in a knot at the bottom of his stomach. Maybe he was getting too used to having people assuming things about him.

Charlie was still staring at him, and Jesus fuck, he meant now? He was kind of expecting to hear it from Alex _right about now?_

His distress must have shown on his face, for Charlie's eyes widened and he scurried to add. “Whenever you're ready, that is. I want to know it from you-- damn, I wanna know everything there is to know about you, but we don't have to rush into it. As far as I'm aware, we got all the time in the world ahead of ourselves now, right?”

Alex didn't know if it was relief or gratitude or maybe just Charlie's fucking cheesy line but he felt like a weight was being lifted from his shoulders. He felt so light that a small laugh escaped his lips, along with a few, uncontrollable words. “Fuck's sake, you're one of those hopeless romantics, aren't you?”

“As a matter of fact, I am,” admitted Charlie, not blinking an eye. He had a smirk on his face but seemed to hesitate for a bit before adding, a little shily. “I've been dreaming about how would it be to find my soulmate ever since I was a kid.”

“Yeah? How's reality going for you?” Asked Alex, thoroughly amused. But he wouldn't deny his interest in the answer. 

“Better than anything I'd dreamed so far,” stated Charlie earnestly. 

“Holy shit, you are a romantic for real,” Alex blinked, a little taken aback and a lot more charmed than he ever expected to be with this kind of talk. “Okay, lover boy, once we're apparently knee-deep into this subject already, let's discuss some ground rules here.”

“Uh, okay?” Charlie frowned, tilting his head with a puzzled look. “What exactly will we be discussing?”

“How are we gonna do this,” Alex gestured awkwardly between the two of them, and Charlie's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. 

“You mean us?” He asked, shaking his head between amused and surprised. “Well, I kinda hoped we could just let ourselves know each other better and, I don't know, see what comes out of there?”

“That doesn't sound like a plan,” Alex squinted. 

“I'm not sure if we're supposed to have one,” Charlie smiled simply. He made it all sound so fucking easy. 

Alex wished he could be half as hopeful and trusting as Charlie was but life had made him a lot more cynical than he ever expected to be at his age. This thing between them wasn't something that came with an on/off button that he could just flip at his will. He wanted to share Charlie's confidence but it wasn't only about wanting.

And not because he didn't believe in the whole Fate thing. He actually did now, had seen enough examples not to be on the skeptical side of things. But Alex had never been one to fantasize about who would it be, how would he meet them, or how the first time they saw each other would go. As pretty much anything else in his life, Alex just went along with the program. He was to have a soulmate? Fine. Since Fate was an actual thing, it would make sure to throw them both in each other's paths, certainly. That was what the whole soulmate thing was based on, wasn't it? So Alex didn't use to stress much over the matter.

Until he almost died, and getting the chance to come back from it turned all of his perspectives and beliefs upside down. And now, six months later, here he was. Staring at his soulmate sitting opposite from him at a table at Monet's on a spring afternoon.

“Okay, just-- hear me out for a second,” Alex raised his hands in a pausing gesture, trying to clear his mind and explain his train of thought as best as he could. “We just met. And I don't wanna assume anything about your life cause I'd have hated if you did the same to me — and I'm really glad you didn't, so thanks for that — but you seem to be a very confident, trusting person, and I'm just not wired like that. I need to have a path to guide me here. I can't just jump right into it, whatever _it_ is meant to be, without figuring some shit out first.”

“That's only fair, I guess,” Charlie agreed, seeming a little taken aback by Alex's sudden stream of words. “Uh, we can-- we can decide a few things? Together? Honestly, though, you'll have to guide me here cause I don't know what you have in mind.”

Alex held in his _me neither_ solely because it didn't lend much reliability to the point he was trying to make — but if he were honest, he didn't know exactly what he had in mind either. He didn't know what it was that he needed to feel more comfortable with their new dynamics, whatever course it would take from there. 

He sighed tiredly. “Have you always believed in this soulmate thing? Cause I'll be honest, there were a few times I didn't. Or else, there were times I didn't care enough about it to consider if it was real or not.” He lifted his eyes to Charlie and internally cringed when he saw the dimmed expression on the younger boy's face. “I don't mean I don't believe it now,” Alex rushed to add, “but it took me-- I had to go over some shit to start believing it for real. But I feel like it never goes away entirely. I just keep thinking, what if whatever I happen to feel for you isn't just a byproduct of some weird-ass inexplicable bond — don't you ever think about that?”

“Not really, no,” said Charlie, pensive. “Alex, no one managed to rationally explain soulmate bonds so far. All we know is that they exist and that they never fail. And sure, I understand you have your questions and doubts about how they actually work, but personally, this was never something I worried about.”

“Never? _How?_ ” Demanded Alex, exasperated. 

Charlie let out a chuckle and shrugged, unworried. “I don't know? It just never mattered to me. I grew up with my parents telling me the most beautiful stories they knew about soulmates, and they also were an example on their own. Their love was so real, so visible-- how could I not believe it and long for the day I would have that too?” Charlie asked, and Alex was yet again surprised at how he was able to make the logic of it all sound so simple. “You never felt comforted by the knowledge there was someone out there waiting for you, someone who would just be exactly right for you?”

Alex paused, Charlie's words striking him deeper than he expected. “Yeah,” he replied in a whisper. “To be honest, at some point I felt, yes.”

“You see, that's what I'm talking about. Look,” Charlie straightened his posture, determined, and looked Alex straight in the eye, “we don't have to be a couple at all costs. There are instances where soulmates proved to work better as best friends.” He paused for a fleeting second, seeming to debate something internally before adding, begrudgingly, “There are also stories of soulmates who became actual enemies but I really hope we don't veer into that. My point is, we don't have to start with the assumption we're going to be together romantically if you don't feel comfortable with it. But I don't think we should rule the idea out either. We don't know how things are gonna go for us. So let's just-- let's take it slow,” he suggested, and then looked up at Alex with hopeful, intent eyes. “I mean, I really liked today, for starters.”

“Yeah, I liked it too,” confessed Alex. “You're very easy to talk to. I'm impressed.”

“And I hope I'll continue to impress,” Charlie grinned. “But we'll see. One day at a time. Can we settle for this?”

Alex looked at him, and for the first time, he felt like he was allowing himself to really see his soulmate. Charlie had a vivacity in his eyes that gave away his youth, and at the same time, he posed himself with such confidence it was striking for his sixteen years of life. He had a gentleness that showed in the way he carried himself, and lips that turned so easily into smiles it was endearing. He was also very pretty, Alex couldn't pretend he wasn't thinking of him like that too. His gaze traveled over his soulmate's thin eyebrows, and his soft mouth, and the little gap between his teeth. There was a smattering of freckles on the bridge of his nose, and Alex was already fond of them even if he didn't know them by heart yet. Yet. 

He was swaying towards Charlie already, and he could feel it in his bones, no matter how much he pushed himself to be rational about this, to not just dive into it right away. Alex could tell from the start he was gearing up for a battle he would very much likely lose. 

But the thing is — he didn't see it as a battle, because he didn't want to win. He didn't want to shut down whatever feelings he would come to grow for Charlie. He just wanted to make sense of them.

He needed to understand where he ended and where the soulmate bond started, where they merged into the point of no return. He needed to know if his feelings were his, or if they originated from a crazy magical glitch no one could explain yet. It didn't really matter to what conclusions he would get, he wouldn't fight whatever feelings he came to discover. He just wanted to _know_. Right now, it all felt new and fast and unstable, and Alex had to be sure. Because when he chose to take the next step, when he chose to completely welcome Charlie into his life, it would be a one-time decision. He would not look back on it. 

“Yeah, I think that's fine for starters,” agreed Alex, allowing a small smile to spread on his lips. “Thanks for understanding it, though,” he added, looking at Charlie a bit uncertain, but gathering up the courage to ask. “I get the feeling that you were expecting things to go a little differently...? Judging from your admittedly self-proclaimed romanticism.”

“I feel baited here,” Charlie squinted, looking at Alex warily. “Is this a test?”

Alex scurried to deny, shaking his head vehemently. “Fuck, no, I just-- you can tell me things, taking it slow doesn't mean you have to hide anything from me,” reassured Alex. “Actually, I think we should be as honest as possible as we go through this. The more we get to know each other, the better.”

“Full honesty then?” Double-checked Charlie, arching his eyebrows. “Okay. I was expecting differently, yes. But I'm not disappointed if that's what you're thinking. I just--” He trailed off, looking torn, eyes traveling over Alex's face. “I gotta ask. Didn't you feel anything when you touched my marking earlier? Cause I sure as hell did.”

“What did you feel?” Asked Alex, curious.

“No, sir, none of that, I asked first,” countered Charlie categorically.

Alex sighed and nodded reluctantly. “I did feel something. I don't know how to explain what it was, but it was there.”

Charlie grinned, shrugging with one shoulder. “It's fine. I wouldn't know how to name what I felt either. I just know it was like nothing I've ever felt before.” His eyes bored into Alex's as he assessed the older boy's expression. “Is this too much?”

Alex found out he was speechless. He shook his head, swallowing thickly around the lump in his throat before he managed to find his voice again. “No, it's okay. It isn't-- it's not too much at all.”

That was a blatant lie, though. It was too fucking much, yes. 

Yet it was also how Alex had felt earlier when Charlie walked him to his Spanish class, when their skins touched for the first time.

* * *

Charlie turned off the ignition, immersing the garage in a sudden silence that was such a contrast to his loud, disorderly thoughts it was ironic. His mind was still reeling from the events of the day. 

It had started just like any other day. Charlie got up, got dressed, had breakfast, and somewhere down the line, between his last period and what should have been football practice — somewhere down this timestamp, he'd unknowingly run into his soulmate, and it was all downhill from there. After this, he 1) almost fainted when he realized his soulmark had changed colors, 2) skipped practice for the first time in his life, 3) was yelled at by a very tall baseball player, 4) had his first date with his soulmate, where they 5) established ground rules as to how they would approach their relationship. Just going through all of it in his head again made Charlie dizzy but he didn't know for sure how much of it was due to the craziness of the day, and how much of it was Alex's fault. 

Charlie had felt his mind hazed throughout all their conversation at Monet's, and he still had no idea how he had pulled that one off. It was such a weird feeling — as if everything around him was blurry and Alex was the only thing in sharp focus. Charlie couldn't have averted his gaze from him if he wanted to. So yeah, he could understand Alex being unsure if his feelings were really his or provided by the soulmate bond. Charlie was 100% positive that at least the dizziness and the constant longing rolling in his lower stomach could be blamed on their newfound link. 

Except that this didn't bother Charlie. It actually made him quite hopeful — it had to mean their connection wasn't supposed to be only friendly or platonic. The expression 'butterflies in the stomach' didn't come out of nowhere, Charlie knew that much. 

He could feel, during all the time they spent together, the pull on his body steering him towards Alex, slowly but constantly, and he didn't want to have to fight it. He wanted to give in to it, wanted to allow himself to feel it completely — but he wanted Alex to allow himself to feel it as well. And as much as Charlie was aching for a way to externalize his feelings, it was more than just that. Of course, there was also a physical component to it, if the way his whole skin felt on fire just by Alex's touch on his marking was anything to go by. But it ran deeper than that. He could also tell that much.

He had a real interest in Alex, and in everything that had composed his life so far. He wanted to know everything about the other boy. Wanted to hear every story, the happy ones and the sad ones too, and more than that — he wanted to learn the nuances of Alex's voice so he could know, without being told, whenever his soulmate was happy or sad. 

(Charlie had an inkling he would be having some help on this last one. He wasn't entirely sure if it worked the way he was thinking, or even if it would work every time, but he was fairly sure he had felt Alex's distress through the marking on his arm. 

On a few occasions, his soulmark had tingled unpleasantly over longer silences or unintentional mishaps during their conversation — and while Alex's face hardly gave much away about his feelings, the prickling sensation in Charlie's bicep had quieted the moment he in some way managed to calm Alex down from whatever it was he'd been worrying about at the moment. It was still too soon to take it as a given but Charlie was inclined to believe it meant he could sense Alex's moods through his soulmark. 

The mere thought both impressed and elated him. This was _real_. He had found his other half.)

Charlie entered the house to find his dad at the dinner table going over some papers, reading glasses poorly balanced at the tip of his nose. His father lifted his eyes from his work with a serious, concentrated expression on his face, but his features softened the minute his gaze landed on Charlie. 

“I was starting to worry,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “Wasn't practice supposed to have ended about one hour ago?”

Charlie felt like he was walking on air as he covered the last steps to the table, sitting across his father with what he assumed was a dazed expression on his face. 

“I met my soulmate today,” he blurted out as an answer. 

Charlie knew he couldn't hold it in from the moment his eyes laid on his father — and to be frank, he didn't want to. His dad had been his only support over that dreadful week last year, when his soulmark threatened to fade. He had seen Charlie's suffering and had embraced his pain as his own. From the moment his marking turned visible on his skin again, Charlie knew his dad would be the first person he would tell when Fate paid him a visit and brought his soulmate to him. 

His father's expression brightened, and he was quick to remove his glasses to better look at his son. “That's-- Charles, that's amazing! This is such great news!” His dad laughed in a mix of joy and relief that Charlie could feel in his own bones. “How did it happen?”

“I was at school, and then-- things just happened. In a minute I was walking him to his class, and the next I realized my soulmark had shown. There were no warnings at all,” Charlie rambled, then belatedly caught up to his words and flinched just the slightest. “He's a boy,” he added as an afterthought, wondering if maybe he shouldn't have started with that. Soulmate bonds didn't take gender into consideration, so it was pretty average that same-sex couples ended up being paired together. It shouldn't be a big deal.

Still it was, for a few — but very vocal — religious people who claimed that anything that didn't lead to babies and thus secured the continuation of the species couldn't be seen as natural. How could an infallible link ever be considered unnatural escaped Charlie's understanding. He had always been pretty open-minded about the prospect of his soulmate possibly being a boy.

And then, more recently, he'd learned he could appreciate boys and girls just the same, even without the soulmate bond having a say on it. But he hadn't yet shared this knowledge with his old man. 

His father didn't blink an eye, though, much to Charlie's relief and appreciation. “He's your future,” he said simply, and just those three words carried so much meaning, so much acceptance, that Charlie felt a bright smile rising to his lips. “And I'm so glad you found him already, after last year... Did you find out what happened to him?”

“Uh, no, we-- we didn't talk about that yet,” said Charlie vaguely. His father's interested eyes remained glued to him though, and Charlie gave in, taking the chance to get it all out of his system. “We mostly talked about how we'll proceed from now on. He wants to take things slow. I mean, he wants us to get to know each other better before deciding if we're going to be a couple or not.”

“That sounds very mature,” frowned his father, impressed. “How old is he?”

“He's 17,” informed Charlie. He blew out a sigh, shaking his head slightly. “But I'm not so sure about mature. He doesn't sound like he trusts soulmate bonds too much.”

“Ah, I see.” His father nodded, understanding washing over his face as he watched his son intently. “Are you disappointed?”

“Maybe a little?” Admitted Charlie, and sighed again. “I don't know. Not entirely, no, because I can feel our connection, I can tell it's there already... It has to go both ways, right?”

“Indeed it does. That's where the infallibility of soulmate bonds lie,” explained his father. “And while your link will be shared by both of you in the same degree and intensity, it might take some people a while longer to embrace or even understand the sudden change in their feelings before they give into them.” He smiled, eyes glinting fondly as he recalled, “If you must know, it took me over a month to be convinced me and your mom wouldn't be better off as best friends.”

“Wait, what?” Asked Charlie surprised. “I thought you both said you've always known! Even before your markings showed.”

“Oh, I knew I loved her, and I knew I wanted to share my life with her, but it can be complicated to make sense of the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings one's mind goes through when the link happens. It's something you've never felt before to begin to understand, and will never feel again to trace parallels.” There was the slightest twinge of sadness to his father's voice — Charlie wouldn't have picked it up if he didn't know him so well — but he smiled reassuringly to his son nonetheless. “If your mother wasn't so sure, it would probably take us even longer to be together... and that would've been such a shame.”

“Did she always know? From the start?” Asked Charlie in a small voice.

“She did, yes. And I'm glad to say you've inherited her conviction. If you know this young man is meant to be your partner, I'm sure you will do whatever's in your reach to make sure Fate follows its course. Even if it means waiting for his turn to come to terms with his feelings,” his father smiled at him, approvingly. “Respecting his wishes is also a way to show him you care, and a very delicate, thoughtful one, I should say.” He reached a strong hand across the table and squeezed his son's slightly smaller one affectionately. “I'm proud of you, Charlie. And I'm also very happy on your behalf. You deserve this peace to your heart after that scare last year.”

Charlie smiled faintly, the tilt of his lips growing wider as his father's words sank in. “Thanks, Dad. I'm really happy too. I hope you can meet him soon,” he confessed. 

“That makes two of us,” his father smiled back. “What's his name?”

“Alex,” answered Charlie, mind going back to the moment he'd heard the name coming out of his soulmate's lips for the first time.

His dad hummed. “Well, I can't wait to meet Alex,” he stated, eyeing his son with a cryptic expression. “Something tells me it won't be too long until it happens.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really excited to be back at writing for this verse! I'll be updating weekly cause my life is a bit of a mess rn with my final paper to submit next month, but once I'm done with it, I hope to update more frequently.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts on this first chapter <3 I'll see you guys next Thursday!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is coming a bit later than I expected, but jfc this entire week's been a mess. Thank you for your feedback on my last chapter, though! I'm really happy to hear you guys are still interested in this soulmate verse, cause it's such a delight to write for it. Hope you guys like this second chapter ;)

##  **Friday, May 11 — morning**

It wasn't flashing news to anyone who knew Charlie that the boy dreamed of the day he'd meet his soulmate. Charlie had never been shy about letting it show — he was the first to admit, he was _one of those people_. One of those hopeless romantics that took comfort and reassurance in the fact that there was someone out there specially fit to match him, to complete him in every aspect, someone with whom he would share his life for the rest of his days. 

Of course, deep down Charlie knew this was a very idyllic perception. If anything, he'd learned way too soon, with his mother's passing, that these things weren't set in stone. After that, when his own soulmark started to fade before he'd even met his soulmate, Charlie doubted the fairness of soulmate bonds. He'd doubted Fate more than once over the long, agonizing week it took his marking to stop flickering.

So one could say Charlie had his moments when his trust had wavered — only to come back ten times stronger once his marking stopped vanishing from his arm. From that moment on, as if solidified by how close he'd gotten to losing his soulmate, Charlie's faith served as a beacon to guide him onwards. He had to believe that the bond would make sure to put him and his soulmate on each other's paths when the right time came. He had to believe they were meant to be. Otherwise, he would live forever scared of watching his soulmark disappearing again, and the mere recollection of how those days had felt was enough to make Charlie cling to his beliefs and hope Fate would show them some kindness and have them united soon.

And now Charlie had met him. Unexpectedly, unassumingly, no chiming bells or fireworks — at least not on his part. And even so, _even so,_ any fantasies he'd entertained over the years paled when compared to the blinding brightness of reality. His soulmate was just at his reach now, alive and well, and this thought alone left Charlie fluttering when he remembered that week of worry and uncertainty he'd gone through last year. His soulmate had a snarky mouth, and a witty spark to his eyes, and he flustered endearingly when handed compliments. He swore a lot. He could also say nice things with a very soft voice that had Charlie's body tingling with both fondness and longing.

 _Alex._ Charlie wasn't lying when he said he'd noticed him before. But he did lie when he said he hadn't heard the rumors about Alex's four-month absence. Of course he had. This was Liberty High, after all, the whole school had heard the damn rumors. Charlie made his best to stay clear out of any gossip, but one never escapes it entirely at a school like theirs. The fact that Alex seemed reluctant to talk about it only made Charlie's hackles raise over what his soulmate wasn't telling him. 

He didn't want to assume anything, though. Neither did he want to push Alex to tell him things he wasn't ready to tell yet. If their talk at Monet's was any indication, Alex already seemed too plagued with doubts for Charlie to want to add any more pressure on top of him. He did believe it when he said they had all the time in the world ahead of them now. Alex could roll his eyes and scoff at him as much as he wanted — Charlie wasn't letting go of him. Whether as friends or lovers, whether as best buddies or boyfriends, he wouldn't give up on his soulmate, whatever his story was. He'd been close enough to lose Alex once already to even think about this option. 

All things considered, it wasn't farfetched to say that on the very next day Charlie met Alex, he was a different person already. Not in a deep, overtly visible manner, of course. But there was a smart spring to his steps, a newfound lightness in the way he carried himself, a different gleam to his smile. Finding Alex soothed an ache Charlie had been nursing for as long as he'd learned what soulmates were. He now felt lighter than he'd ever felt before, a huge weight lifted from his shoulders once the prospect of spending years searching for his soulmate was not something he had to worry about anymore. Charlie wasn't one to brood or indulge in bad moods often, but as he crossed the cafeteria to the table where his friends were sitting, it was easy for them to tell there was something different about him this morning. 

“Whoa, dude,” said Luke as soon as Charlie sat down in front of him with his lunch tray. “What's with the good mood?”

“What are you talking about?” Charlie frowned, a chuckle escaping his lips. “I'm always in a good mood.”

“Yeah, but today you're like, fucking glowing,” observed Luke. He punched Diego lightly in the shoulder to grab his attention. “Look at him-- Doesn't Charlie look way too happy for an ordinary school day?”

“I'm more interested in knowing why Mr. Fucking-Glowing missed practice yesterday,” said Diego, lifting his gaze from his sandwich to the younger jock. “Any thoughts you'd like to share?”

 _Shit._ In the middle of all the excitement of the previous day, Charlie had completely erased anything about football and practice from his mind. 

“I can explain,” tried Charlie carefully.

“I sure hope you can, buddy. Coach Kerba isn't happy with you,” informed Diego, and Charlie didn't think he was imagining the tone of disapproval in his friend's voice.

He groaned, fingers twitching anxiously with the tin foil of his yogurt. “It was a special occasion,” he said lamely. “I'll talk to him about it later today.”

“You never missed a practice before. I've actually seen you try to run into the field while injured more than once,” pondered Diego, looking at Charlie suspiciously. “What was so important that had you slacking this time?”

And see, it's not that Charlie didn't want to tell his friends about it. In fact, he wanted to scream it at the top of his lungs for everyone to know he had found his soulmate. But when he'd imagined himself telling people, things were a little different in settings than what he was actually going through now. As in, Charlie always thought he would tell his friends he and his soulmate were dating. As in, he'd brag about how their first kiss had been mind-blowing and life-changing. As in, he'd sit back and muse about how all it took was one look for him and his soulmate to _just know_ they belonged together.

Not as in he almost missed his soulmark revealing, and now he and his soulmate were taking their time to figure things out before deciding which direction they would follow with their relationship.

And the thing is, on some level, Charlie knew Alex's demand made sense, especially after talking it over with his dad the day before. He could see why the older boy had asked for time, and he wanted to respect his wishes. But Charlie was also only 16, and God, a huge part of himself just wanted to pull Alex closer and learn the taste of his lips. He wanted to bury his nose into his hair until he'd committed his smell to memory, and trace his fingers across his cheekbones so he could map out his features and the feel of his skin. It was a bit maddening, to be quite honest. Charlie understood Alex, he truly did — but this wasn't the same to say he didn't have hopes and wishes of his own.

“Earth to Charlie-- man, what the hell? Diego, I think we lost him,” announced Luke, snapping his fingers in front of Charlie's face.

“Dude, are you okay? I'm starting to worry about you for real,” said Diego with a crease between his eyebrows.

“Nah, I'm fine, don't worry,” eased Charlie, swatting Luke's hands away with an amused look on his face. “Would you quit it?”

“Course he's fine, can't you see the dreamy look on his face? So,” Luke placed both palms on the top of the table instead and leaned in, curiosity all over his face as he peered at Charlie, “what was it, did you sneak out to get laid yesterday or something?”

“No, Jesus, why would you think that?” exclaimed Charlie, a blush creeping up to his face faster than he thought possible because now his mind was going _places._ Oh, it was going a lot of places it definitely shouldn't be going to.

“I don't believe you, you're a lousy liar and your face is red all over,” accused Luke. “What are you ashamed of? We're your buddies, you can tell us anything.”

“I know, it's just-- it wasn't about that,” said Charlie, wavering.

“What was it about, then?” Asked Luke impatiently. “Clearly something good happened to you, to have you all smiley and blushy and dreamy and shit. I just went for the easy bet.”

“Oh, getting laid was the easy bet?” Asked Charlie, equal parts incredulous and amused.

“Wait, wait, wait, hang on,” interrupted Diego, raising one had to stop his friends' bickering, his expression brightening as if he just realized something. “Holy shit-- I think I know what's happening here!”

“I kinda hope you do, but at the same time not so much?” Tried Charlie, conflicted.

“You found them, didn't you?” Asked Diego proudly, ignoring Charlie's reticence. “That's why you skipped practice yesterday without warning anyone. It's because you-- wait a minute, are they here?” Diego's head swiveled, upper body twisting as he looked around at their schoolmates excitedly, half-expecting a neon billboard to light up and reveal Charlie's soulmate if he looked thoroughly enough.

“Oh, my-- ok, yes, I think they are, but please, don't start guessing,” begged Charlie embarrassed.

“Hey, what's going on, what am I missing?” Protested Luke, looking between his two friends offended they weren't letting him in on their secret.

“It seems our boy Charlie beat us this time, Luke,” said Diego, turning back to his friends, a twinge of pride in his voice. He grinned at Charlie, tilting his head towards Luke. “Wanna fill him in?”

Charlie sighed — what the hell — and lifted his eyes to Luke's dumbfounded expression. “I met my soulmate yesterday.”

“You did _what?!_ ” Luke's shout was both shocked and excited, and it had Diego laughing out loud at his reaction. Charlie's heart was speeding up like crazy in his chest. It was the second time he delivered the news out loud, and it rang just as deep and true and real in his core as it did when he'd told his father about it the day before.

“Jesus, Luke, chill,” said Diego amidst his laughter. “Charlie doesn't wanna make a scene. I'm sorry, are we embarrassing you in front of your soulmate? Wait until they meet Luke in person.”

“Is that supposed to calm me?” Mumbled Charlie, glancing around to see if he caught any sight of Alex. “You guys are a hazard. I am keeping him away from you as much as I can.”

“So it's a him,” noticed Diego astutely. 

“Holy shit, it's a him!” Grinned Luke, and never before Charlie was so aware of how his blond friend could be _loud_. “Sweet, one more to the gang! When are we meeting him?”

“I think I'd like to say never,” pondered Charlie, “but I'll just stick with not so soon.”

“Hey,” protested Diego, looking offended. “I can understand this for Luke, but dude, I have manners. Why am I being given the same treatment?”

“It's not that,” sighed Charlie, wondering how many times yet he would have to go through this minutiae. “We're not together.”

“Excuse me?” Luke's blonde eyebrows shot up in his forehead. “You guys won't be a thing?”

“No, it's not-- I don't know,” confessed Charlie. “I think so, I sure as hell hope so. But we're not there yet. We're not dating or anything of the sort for now, we're taking our time to get to know each other better.”

“This sounds like any other normal, boring relationship,” said Luke, now frowning. 

“Luke, what the hell,” Diego's head snapped towards the tall jock, throwing him a chastising glare. 

Luke threw his hands in front of himself apologetically. “I'm sorry, it's just that we hear so much about how it's a Magic Moment, and your whole world turns upside down, and you hear the fucking bells chime and shit. I always assumed it would be the kind of thing you can't avoid, can't escape no matter what.” He turned curious eyes to Charlie. “Did you hear the bells chime?”

“Luke, I'm telling you, for Christ's sake,” warned Diego again, but his eyes were focused on Charlie this time, expression interested in the younger boy's answer despite his outward show of reprimanding Luke.

Charlie loved his friends, he truly did, but the only purpose they were serving now was to make him more frustrated than ever about everything. All of their fuss and curiosity were normal, he supposed, but they just increased his insecurities about how the whole soulmate thing was going for him. Reasonably, Charlie knew there wasn't a single formula or only one right way for all soulmate things to go. But truth be told, he just wanted rub on his friends' expectant faces that he and Alex were a match made in heaven, and yes, goddamnit, he'd heard the damn bells chime. And he couldn't do that because it wasn't true. 

(It wasn't entirely a lie, though. Charlie couldn't say for sure because it had all been very fast and overwhelming but he thought he'd at least come very close to it when Alex's fingers touched his soulmark the day before. It was a fitting way to describe that feeling he couldn't name yet.) 

He was still trying to come up with an answer that was at the same time satisfying, true, and caustic enough to wipe the curious looks on Diego's and Luke's faces when the sound of someone clearing their throat rose right behind him. “Excuse me...?”

Charlie's head turned so fast when he recognized the voice he could hear his neck popping. Alex was standing there, a hesitant expression on his face, his eyes glued to Charlie. The quarterback vaguely noticed a girl standing a little behind him, waiting with their lunch tray in her hands, and Charlie recognized her as one of Alex's friends that were always with him. (He could recognize her for other reasons as well, but his mind was set on not paying attention to any rumors.)

“Hey! Hey, Alex-- hey,” Charlie said, completely taken aback. He had not seen that one coming. He also had no idea when exactly had he stood up but the fact remained that he did. Charlie only noticed it when Alex tilted his head up slightly to meet his eyes, and he was once again lost in the unique blue of his gaze.

Alex gave him a little smile, hesitation leaving his expression and giving way to amusement. “Hey, Charlie,” he echoed. Charlie was aware that at some level he was being made fun of, but man, he couldn't care less. Just the fact that Alex was there talking to him — Alex had come to him, _Alex had been the one coming his way_ , Jesus Christ — was enough to make any mocking worth it. “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today after school, and then I thought of texting you about it, but I realized we didn't exchange phone numbers yesterday.”

“Shit, you're right,” said Charlie, tapping his jeans pockets in search of his phone. He could feel both Luke's and Diego's eyes burning holes in the back of his head but it was easy to ignore them when Alex was all he could see in front of him. He unlocked the screen and handed Alex his phone. “Here. It'll hopefully save us a lot of leaving it to fate in the future.”

Alex smiled, propping his cane on the floor so he could type his contact info on Charlie's phone more comfortably. “I thought Fate had already said Its piece here,” Alex joked, thumbs hitting the screen with calculated effort.

Charlie's heart was lodged in his throat but he forced his voice past it nonetheless. “Well, I don't mind giving it a little push here and there.” He could see Alex rolling his eyes in exasperation, and the gesture made him smile. “Did you sleep ok?”

The day before, Alex had mentioned in passing he was having a hard time falling asleep lately, even with his prescription meds to help. But he seemed surprised that Charlie remembered this detail, if his arched eyebrows were anything to go by. “Not really,” he admitted, a smile curving his lips as he returned Charlie his phone, “but better than in a while.”

Charlie smiled back, brightly, and for a moment he completely forgot where he was. He could only see Alex in front of him — and he assumed the older boy was going through a similar experience, for they only blinked, breaking eye contact, when Alex's friend cleared her throat very loudly somewhere in their surroundings.

Alex looked over his shoulder self-consciously before turning his attention back to Charlie. “So-- text me so we can schedule something?”

“Yeah, sure. I will,” Charlie nodded enthusiastically. 

“You guys can sit with us for lunch if you'd like,” offered Diego. Charlie wasn't surprised to learn that he and Luke had been eavesdropping on their conversation. 

“Thanks but no thanks,” answered Alex's friend, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Let's go, Alex.”

Alex threw Charlie a slightly apologetic glance before following the girl to the other side of the cafeteria. Charlie watched them go, eyes focused on Alex's retreating back before he slowly turned back to his table and sat down again. 

Luke and Diego were already eagerly waiting for more info, excitement clearly written on both their faces. 

“Alex Standall? Your soulmate is Alex Standall?” Asked Luke beyond himself with surprise. “Alex shot-himself-in-the-head Standall?”

“Luke, do not make me punch you,” warned Charlie, expression dead serious as he looked at his friend. 

Luke flinched. “Sorry, man, I didn't-- yeah, you're right, I can hear myself now, that's a pretty shitty thing to say. I'm sorry.” He lifted his eyes to Charlie, hesitating but still bold enough to ask. “But is it true...?”

“I don't know,” dodged Charlie uncomfortably. “We didn't talk about any of that yet.”

“Why didn't they join us for lunch?” Diego seemed more baffled by this than by anything else. “Why didn't-- Charlie, that's your fucking soulmate going the other way there, why didn't you insist more?”

“Why do I think you had your own agenda when you asked them to join us, and it had nothing to do with me?” Mused Charlie.

“I can have my own agenda,” shrugged Diego, “and still have your best interests in mind. They're not mutually exclusive.”

Luke snorted loudly through his nose, shaking his head. “Dude, you aiming at Jessica Davis? That's a big fucking no for you, you know that, right?”

“Why, you think I can get her to like me?” Diego arched his eyebrows, challenge-accepted mood taking place. 

“Man, _I know_ you can get her to like you,” Luke arched his eyebrows. “Jesus, get a reality check.”

Their argument picked up from there, both Luke and Diego hotly defending their stances. Charlie sighed, shaking his head absent-mindedly. His friends could be a lot sometimes.

He fished his phone from his pocket, unlocking the screen and searching for Alex's contact info. His profile pic was a blue guitar. Charlie smiled. Very Alex indeed. 

He typed a quick _glad you came to talk to me <3_ and hit the send button, his eyes immediately searching for Alex on the other side of the room as soon as the message marked delivered. 

Alex had his phone on the table as if expecting it to buzz at any time, and he scurried to check it when his screen lit up. The seconds it took for him to open the message resonated deep with each of Charlie's heavy heartbeats, like an anxious countdown. 

Finally, Alex smiled as his eyes read the message. 

On the opposite side of the cafeteria, Charlie smiled too, as much relieved as he was satisfied.

* * *

“So,” Jessica's annoyed voice broke Alex out of his distraction, “this is how it's gonna be from now on? Stupid smiles out of nowhere and leaving me hanging on conversations?”

Alex lifted his eyes from his phone to her, smile still in place. “I can't tell if you're bitter because I found my soulmate, or because you haven't found yours yet.”

“At this point, I'm bitter at fucking life,” she huffed out, aggravated. Alex waited for a few seconds and, without doubt, her expression softened, kinder brown eyes fixing steadily on his. “But it's not about you, I'm actually happy for you. If anyone, you deserve this bit of comfort in your life.”

“Thank you,” drawled Alex, and Jessica rolled her eyes good-naturedly at him. But it was all right. It was how they functioned together, as friends.

After everything they went through, holding on to each other had been not only a coping mechanism but also a support line for both of them. Jessica could mock and sneer all she wanted — under the surface, Alex knew she cared. 

And this went both ways. Which was why Alex put his phone down with a slight crease between his eyebrows, his voice sounding concerned. “You know you'll find yours eventually too, right? You believe it?”

“Don't make this about me,” Jessica evaded. “I feel like I've just done it now already, and I'm sorry. Tell me about you,” she suggested, grabbing her tuna sandwich from the tray. “You're a hard nut to crack, and I'm not really surprised about that, but I wanna hear more about the soulmates thing.”

“What do you wanna know?” Conceded Alex, managing to sound only the slightest bit contrary. 

“Everything,” Jess waved her sandwich for emphasis. “So far you only told me you met him before your Spanish class yesterday, and that you guys went to Monet's for talks. But what talks? What did you talk about for so long?” Jessica arched one eyebrow leeringly. “Were tongues involved?”

“Jesus Christ,” Alex rolled his eyes, more amused than he would ever admit at Jessica's prodding. He wanted to be annoyed — he felt like he had the right to be — but her assumption missed the mark by such a long distance it was hard to keep his laugh in. “Is that what you plan to do when you find your soulmate? Make out first, talk later?”

“Maybe?” Offered Jess with a shrug. “I'll give you that one, I don't really know. But isn't it like-- this feeling in your body you can't control when you look at him?”

“I think you're confusing it with being horny, Jess. It doesn't really take a soulmate for that,” Alex dismissed, but there was a frown on his face as he considered her question. “But yeah-- there's a bit of that too, I guess? But it's not only that, or it's not the main part of it, at least,” he shook his head, frustrated that he couldn't properly convey it into words. Words seemed to be evading him since yesterday, from the moment Charlie's fingers had brushed against his — and he'd immediately known there was something different going on, something life-changing, but he couldn't make sense of it back when it was happening. Fuck's sake, he couldn't make sense of it _now_ , hours later, after most of the shock had worn off. “Feels like... The first time I drove a car on my own. Only much more intense.”

“Hmm,” Jessica's eyes were laser-focused on him, a delicate wrinkle in her forehead as she tried to keep up. “Do elaborate on that.”

Alex sighed, scratching his hairline over his scars absentmindedly, a habit he'd taken to when he was under pressure. “It's like I can feel I'm behind the wheel, and I'm in control of everything on my end to a certain degree. Except I'm not. There might be bumps and curves I'm not seeing from a distance, and it's so fucking scary, Jess... To think I may crash the car. And my responses, they depend on the other drivers on the road, too. There's the chance this guy on the car nearby is an asshole, and I'll have to duck fast not to smash into him. It's-- I don't know, it's thrilling and terrifying at the same time, and still, I wanna go out and drive again.”

“I see. You think Charlie is an asshole driver?” She tipped her head in the general direction Charlie was sitting with his friends.

“No, I don't think he is,” replied Alex, this time with conviction. “He's a pretty mindful one, as far as I can tell. A+ on caution and attention to detail.”

“Wow, you sound convinced,” said Jess, surprised. “Is this a soulmate thing? To jump in defense of your beloved one so promptly?”

“You're gonna ask this about anything from now on?” Countered Alex, unimpressed. “Jesus, not every little thing has to be a _soulmate thing_.”

“How would you know?” Challenged Jess. “You're still learning how to navigate these waters.” 

And see, that's the thing. Jessica was right. Alex couldn't know for sure, ever, what was a soulmate thing and what wasn't — and frankly, this was bothering him way less than he anticipated.

He'd played his defensive cards with Charlie at Monet's the day before, and he knew that. He was worried and anxious, and he had a shit ton of questions. But he'd expected that at every second he spent around Charlie, an alarm would be blaring in the back of his head, reminding him that he should mind himself and his feelings — and it wasn't like that at all. If Alex didn't check himself, it was actually quite easy to get lost in the moment. 

He was left too distracted to wonder about the influence of soulmate bonds on his feelings when Charlie smiled at him, and he seemed to do that a lot. Alex found himself returning the gesture more times than he could count. There wasn't a part of his attention left to wander when Charlie's eyes were fixed on his, blue meeting blue, and their conversation seemed not to need words sometimes — and it was still to reach 24 hours since their markings had shown. Alex assumed he should be more concerned. Surprisingly, he wasn't.

“You're doing it again,” complained Jess, throwing the plastic lid of her apple juice at him. It hit his shoulder and fell sadly to the table, snatching Alex's attention back to her. “And while it's freaky that you just zone out like that, it's good to see you smiling, for a change. I'll give this one jock the benefit of the doubt.”

“You'll have to get used to him around, I suppose,” Alex smirked, and the irony wasn't lost on him as he considered that this also applied to himself.

Jess ignored him, dark brown eyes curious as she stared at her friend. “When you look at him, what do you feel?”

“Like everything has a point now,” the answer escaped his lips without Alex even thinking too much of it. Jessica's eyes were still boring into his, and he struggled to trudge onwards now that he'd already started. “For a long time, I felt like everything was meaningless-- well, you know that part, you were there. But ever since I got a second chance, I started to look at a lot of things differently, this soulmate bond thing being one of them. And while I can't be sure how much this affects how I now see Charlie,” Alex's voice trembled around his soulmate's name, and he briefly wondered how long it would take for things to just become _normal_ , “I do know that when I look at him, things just seem... Right. Like they have a purpose. And so I have one, too.”

“Wow,” said Jess, stunned. “I just-- wow. I never thought I'd hear you say shit like that. This was really touching, Alex.”

“Please, don't start crying,” mocked Alex, fighting the feeling of self-consciousness that threatened to take over him. 

“I won't, I just-- I'm really happy you have this now,” Jessica said earnestly, leaning over the table so she could reach Alex's hand, and squeeze it supportingly. “I was peeved when you told me your soulmate was a jock but you just make it sound so-- I don't know, beautiful, when you talk about him. And the way he looks at you too, Jesus. That boy's completely gone for you. I can tell you guys will be a great couple.”

“Um-- yeah, so,” started Alex. “About that.” 

“What?” Asked Jessica with a smile. 

“We're not. A couple,” he explained stiffly. “We're not dating, or even close to getting there. I think.”

“What?” She said again, and now there was a frown on her face instead. “And you're just telling me now? You should've led with that!”

“I know, I'm sorry,” Alex sighed. “That's what we talked about at Monet's. Well, not only that but there was also this talk of our immediate future. I didn't wanna rush into things just because being together is usually what's expected of soulmates. I still don't, actually.”

Jessica's frown deepened and she nodded her head along with Alex's speech as if trying to follow his thought process. “Okay, I hear you and everything you said, and I don't think you should feel pressured into any relationship you don't feel comfortable being a part of, even if it's your soulmate we're talking about,” she paused, looking at him with a mix of curiosity and doubt. “But you know, I got the feeling you were pretty into him as you two were speaking just now? Am I reading this wrong?”

“No, you're not reading it wrong,” admitted Alex. “I wanted to make sense of my feelings first before taking things to the next level but fuck, there are so many more feelings than I anticipated. And I don't have a fucking clue what to make of them, soulmate bond or not,” he huffed out in annoyance, shaking his head. “Honestly, part of me just wants to call him my boyfriend, and other part wants to take everything slowly so we can enjoy the ride. But there's not a single part that doesn't seem fully sold on wanting him in my life, apparently.”

“Alex,” said Jessica with wide eyes, amazement and fondness printed clearly on her face. “I don't even know what to say.”

“Don't bother,” dismissed Alex. “I don't think there's much anyone can say. And I didn't even mention what kinds of thoughts are going through yet another part of my mind,” he sighed, defeated. “I'd like to keep it PG for today, though.”

Jessica gasped in surprise but her reply was cut short by Zach joining their table, a big grin plastered on his face as he slid on a seat beside Alex. “How's our newest committed man doing today?” He clasped Alex on the shoulder friendly, stealing one of his untouched baby carrots. 

That seemed to shake Jess out of her shock. “Wait, Zach knew about it before I did? _Zach?_ Are you serious?” She asked incredulously. 

“You see, I don't like your tone,” replied Zach, unconcerned, pointing a baby carrot at her. 

“He was around when everything went down yesterday,” Alex explained. “For which I'm thankful,” he added, turning his head to look at his jock friend.

Zach shrugged it off with a grin. “Glad I could be useful. I have to say, though, your texts weren't nearly as detailed as I was expecting,” he objected. “And I can't believe you just stopped replying out of nowhere and left me hanging.”

“It was a tiring day, I was wrecked,” Alex defended himself. 

“Wait, you guys texted about it yesterday?” Jessica stared at Alex with betrayal painted all over her face. “So what, I only heard about it today because you needed a bodyguard?”

“Hang on, what's this bodyguard thing?” Frowned Zach, clueless. 

“He needed someone to back him up when he decided to ask for Charlie's number,” spilled Jess, accusing eyes not leaving Alex, “and apparently I was the only one around.”

“Don't make such a big deal out of it. I told you about it, didn't I?” Alex rolled his eyes impatiently. “You're like, the second person I told. And I hope you do realize that you being my ex makes it all a little odd to share, to say the least.”

“Are you sure? Cause I think you were about to go pretty graphic just before Zach arrived,” pointed out Jessica. 

“What the fuck, Jess,” protested Alex, embarrassed. “I was not, let it go.”

“What am I missing?” Asked Zach curiously. “I thought you said to Charlie you wanted to take things slow-- why am I hearing about graphic details? Did you two hook up and you're hiding it from me?”

“No, for fuck's sake,” Alex shook his head vehemently. “Why do your minds keep on coming back to this, Jesus.”

“Well, I'm 17,” said Zach in an obvious tone. “Even without a soulmate, my mind's pretty much _there_ all the time.”

“Yeah, and I'm curious now,” insisted Jessica. “Where was your train of thought going when you mentioned that? Because it seemed to be on a happy path. C'mon, let me live through you, Alex!”

“You guys are so fucking nosy,” evaded Alex, a nonchalant look on his face as he busied himself with opening his juice bottle.

“We are, and you'll thank us for this later,” advised Zach. “You can talk about these things with us, it might help ease your nerves. For when you're with Charlie-- if you guys ever get to that point, I mean.”

“What are you even talking about?” Frowned Alex, bewildered.

“Well,” started Zach cautiously. “He doesn't have a reputation for being good with his hands out of nowhere. The locker room talks, you know.”

Alex choked on his orange juice. Jessica's laugh could probably be heard from the other side of the cafeteria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, y'all! Give me your thoughts, your kudos and comments keep me going <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is what happens when you're a sucker for details: this chapter wasn't meant to exist. But I was rewatching S02 last week and suddenly I had a lot of questions about my own story that I realized I hadn't sorted out in my outline yet. So plot happened, and consequently this extra chapter too. I'm sorry it took me longer than expected to finish writing this, but I was in over my head trying to make sense of things I honestly hadn't considered in my first plans for this fic. I almost wish I hadn't stopped to rewatch S02 lsdkfjsl (that's a LIE)
> 
> Despite this fic being an AU, I'm still incorporating all the events from canon until the end of S02, but you can delete S03 and S04 from your minds to what concerns this story. This means, among a lot of things, but a specific reminder for this chapter, that Alex and Jess never got around to date a second time in this universe. That being said, sorry for this huge ass note and I hope you appreciate this chapter!

##  **Friday, May 11 — afternoon**

Despite Alex's small meltdown after Zach mentioning Charlie's reputation over lunch earlier that day, their encounter after school went down as smoothly as it could go.

He and Charlie exchanged a few messages between classes and ended up deciding on Monet's again. Jess flat-out called them boring and unimaginative but Alex was honestly a bit soft himself as to why Charlie had suggested the coffee shop. 

“He's worried about my leg,” said Alex, accomplishing the impossible feat of sounding defensive and proud at the same time. 

“What, did he say that?” Asked Jess, skeptical. She leaned closer to Alex's desk to peer curiously at his phone screen. 

“Not in so many words,” Alex turned his phone in her direction, and Jessica tilted her head to read their latest exchange. 

**(1:47 PM) Charlie St. George:** _we could go to Monet's again? I'd never been to that place before_

 **(1:50 PM) Alex Standall:** _if thats ok for you? I mean i'd like that but we were there just yesterday_

 **(1:52 PM) Alex Standall:** _you could suggest a place of your own if you'd like_

 **(1:52 PM) Charlie St. George:** _no it's fine i really liked it there, they have a lot of tea flavors i still wanna try_

 **(1:53 PM) Charlie St. George:** _also it's nice that it's a place we can just sit and talk_

 **(1:53 PM) Charlie St. George:** _wouldn't want you to strain yourself too much, suppose school can be tiring enough already_

“Okay, I take that back,” said Jess, looking begrudgingly impressed. “I'll switch boring for oddly considerate, and unimaginative for unexpectedly kind for a jock.”

“Let go of your preconceptions, Jess,” said Alex airily, slipping his phone inside his backpack as their teacher walked into the classroom. “We're trying to keep an open mind here.”

“Shut up,” said Jessica with a laugh. “You were just this morning fretting about how would you ask this boy for his number in front of his jock friends. You don't get to fucking school me.”

“Yeah, well, my experiences involving the guys on the team weren't all sunshine and rainbows either,” reasoned Alex with a frown. “I meant 'keep an open mind' about Charlie. I can't vouch for any of his friends.”

“Exactly,” stressed Jess. “I'm doing my best to be neutral on your behalf but your soulmate behaving like a decent person for once doesn't make every other jock in this school suddenly nicer.”

Alex hummed in acknowledgment and Jessica threw him a meaningful glance before turning to face the board as the class started. 

She had a point, obviously, and not really one she needed to say out loud for Alex to see. He didn't have the time of his life either, back when he still hung out with the Tigers — though of course nothing as awful when compared to Jess's experience. Still, Alex could say for sure that getting mixed up with jocks again wasn't something he'd planned to do willingly. 

He knew not every single one of them sucked, his friendship with Zach was there to prove that. But Alex would prefer to avoid any new connections with those people if he could. The level of toxicity that soaked the interactions he used to have while hanging with Bryce & Co. — Alex could now see how fucked up everything was, and it still baffled him he had to go so low to realize what he was doing with his life. Trying so hard to fit in, striving to impress people who weren't even worth the effort, changing who he was into what he knew was expected of him to be. He felt alienated just remembering.

It was impossible, by the time it was happening, for Alex to see clearly that this was what he was doing all those months ago. It took time and distance — and losing a friend, then almost losing himself — to figure it all out. And once he did, once Alex came back to school after four months of ruminating everything in his head (the parts he remembered, and then the parts he learned about after, from his friends or from listening to the tapes again), of one thing he was sure: he wanted nothing to do with the likes of Liberty Tigers ever again.

Then in a turn of events, there comes Fate and throws a jock his way. One he can't escape, of course, because it's his fucking soulmate. Alex wished this didn't contribute to making him wary towards Charlie. But it did.

As he headed to the parking lot to meet the younger boy, Alex's mind kept returning to his conversation with Jess at lunch. It still startled him how much of his feelings he had yet to figure out. Everything since yesterday was a rush of adrenaline, his body and his senses on hyper-alert in an effort to help him apprehend and process what was going on. Alex felt like only when he tried to put his crazy emotions into words while talking to Jessica, that he started to make sense of how he was feeling. Still very little sense, if he was honest, but better than nothing. 

A knot of nerves started to form in his lower stomach once Alex noticed Charlie's friends were with him by his car. He thought of ducking away and waiting for them to leave, thought of texting Charlie and telling him something came up — but his feet kept carrying him forward anyway, albeit slowly, as if praying for the older jocks to leave before he caught up with them.

It was a bit silly, and part of him knew it — not all jocks were assholes, and Alex didn't even know any of the guys from the football team currently. Maybe they weren't that bad. If he had to make a guess based on Charlie, it was hard for Alex to believe his apparently sweet and kind soulmate would choose to associate himself with nasty people. But then again, Alex thought with a sigh, sometimes you don't know how much of a shitty person someone can be until it's too late. He had learned this one lesson the hard way. 

The guy who had invited him and Jess to stay for lunch lifted his head mid-laugh, and his eyes found Alex's. He jolted and immediately reached for his blond friend, his gaze lingering on Alex for a second before returning to his teammates. He said something to Charlie quickly before walking away, hand now firmly grasping his taller friend's bicep as he dragged him along. Blond-jock followed seemingly reluctant, head turning to peer curiously at Alex over his shoulder as they backed away to the school.

Alex's eyebrows were high on his forehead when Charlie turned to face him, hands casually shoved inside his pockets, a huge grin on his lips. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Alex answered, making through the final steps that separated him from Charlie. He rested his cane on the ground and looked up at the other boy, uncertain. “What the fuck was that?”

“What was what?” Frowned Charlie, bemused.

“Your friends,” said Alex, waving vaguely in the direction the two jocks had disappeared to at the mere sight of him. An unsettling feeling was spreading through his chest. Fuck, was Charlie-- was Charlie ashamed of him? 

“Oh. That.” Charlie grimaced, glancing over his shoulder to where Alex had pointed to. He turned back to the older boy with a sheepish expression on his face. “Guess they weren't so subtle, then.”

“No, they fucking weren't,” snapped Alex, and he didn't mean to — shit, he didn't even want to be in the same place those guys were, and _still._ Still. 

Charlie's frown deepened, and he tilted his head, eyes scanning Alex's face. “Is everything okay?”

“Are you ashamed of me?” The words were out of his mouth before he could think better of them — but it was fine because Alex didn't regret saying them. He needed to know. 

“Jesus Christ-- _no,_ of course not! God,” Charlie's eyes widened, and he took an automatic step closer, hands fidgeting in his pockets as if he wanted to reach for Alex. But he stayed put. “Why would you say that?”

Alex's jaw locked and he snorted derisively through his nose. “Well,” he said pointedly, making a gesture with the hand not holding his cane to encompass all of his broken self. “I wouldn't fault you if you were.”

He had to avert his eyes immediately after that, though. Charlie's expression softened, and his gaze carried so much warmth and tenderness that Alex couldn't bear to face it. 

“I would never,” promised Charlie. Alex had to refrain from rolling his eyes because honestly, what the fuck did Charlie know. “I just figured you wouldn't want to meet the guys just yet, considering you asked us to go slow at first. I didn't want to pressure you into having to meet my friends so soon.”

And okay, that made sense and everything, and it was actually quite thoughtful, so Alex risked a sideway glance to Charlie. The young jock was distracted, looking in the direction his friends had left to, balancing his weight on the soles of his feet with a torn look on what Alex could see from his face. At last, he sighed, turning back to Alex with a stoic expression playing on his features. 

“Also,” he started, visibly opposed, “the guys can be a lot sometimes. I asked them to leave us be when you got here, but I was more worried about them embarrassing me in front of you than the opposite.”

That made Alex fully turn to stare at him, a look of disbelief on his face. “What could they possibly do or say that would embarrass you?”

“Believe me,” stressed Charlie, “I'm sure they would find a way.”

A flash of Zach's _the locker room talks_ from that morning floated to Alex's mind and startled a chuckle out of him. Yeah, maybe he could see what Charlie meant. 

“I also didn't know you were willing to meet my friends?” Said Charlie, his voice wavering between curiosity and confusion. “Yesterday you didn't seem to be very keen on anyone from the team.”

“I'm not,” agreed Alex. He sighed, shaking his head almost as confused as Charlie. “I was literally thinking of texting you just five minutes ago saying I wouldn't make it when I saw you were with your friends.”

“Oh, my God,” said Charlie, mock-horror printed on his face. “Should I ditch them forever?”

Alex laughed, at last, rolling his eyes in amusement. “That will not be necessary,” he assuaged, infected by Charlie's ability to make things lighter. “I don't know why I reacted like that. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay,” said Charlie softly. “I mean, we did agree on full honesty, so we shouldn't refrain from speaking our minds.” He stared at Alex for a few seconds, measuring his words before adding, “I'm sorry too that I gave you the wrong impression. You can meet my friends anytime you want.”

“Even if they happen to embarrass you in front of me?” Alex arched an eyebrow, joking not to have to consider the real possibility of being introduced to Charlie's friends. Fuck his mixed feelings, honestly — Alex didn't know where to start sorting through them. Though it'd been painful to think Charlie didn't want his friends to meet him, that didn't mean he was eager to befriend the older jocks either.

“That will eventually happen at some point, I'm afraid. I don't think it's avoidable,” said Charlie with a long-suffering sigh. Alex couldn't tell if he was joking or not. The younger boy leaned in to open the car door for him. “Shall we?”

“What could you possibly have done that's so bad your friends would aim to make fun of you?” Mused Alex, grabbing his cane and lifting himself into the car. 

Charlie laughed, and it was a different kind of laugh, one with a wry touch to it. Alex liked it on the spot. “So naive of you to believe I had to do anything,” said Charlie amused, checking if Alex was properly seated and comfortable before reaching for the car door again. “Clearly you haven't met Luke.”

And with that cryptic statement, he closed the door and jogged to the driver's side, leaving Alex clueless to the strange dynamics of friendships between jocks.

* * *

Charlie was grinning during the entire drive to Monet's — he knew it and he made absolutely no effort to stop it.

The radio was on again but opposite from the day before, when he'd had to turn up the volume enough that it filled the awkward silence looming heavily between him and Alex, today it was merely background music playing to lull their conversation. 

He couldn't help but sneak a glance at Alex here and there, admiring his profile, the straight line of his nose, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed. How could that boy possibly think Charlie would ever be ashamed of him? If it was up to Charlie, he would've been holding hands with Alex just this morning for the whole school to see. 

That was the first thing that came to Charlie's mind when Alex posed the question earlier — and even though it was true, it didn't seem the right thing to say. Alex didn't have any interest in what the school would think of them, and rightfully so. Their schoolmates didn't treat him nicely in his return to Liberty High. The gossiping about him had lessened lately but some heads still turned in the hallways to watch Alex walk by on his way to classes.

No, if Charlie had to throw in a guess, Alex's worries weren't focused on how other people saw him. They seemed to be about how he saw himself — and Jesus Christ, how badly Charlie wanted to just _ask_ what had happened to him, so he could understand and try to reassure this boy that no, not in a million years, no matter what happened, Charlie would never be ashamed of him. Ever. 

But he didn't ask, and Alex didn't offer, and the opportunity was gone. Charlie ended up saying a piece of his own worries to ease Alex's, and it seemed to have worked. He didn't know how long this strategy would last but it was serving them well for now. Alex was in a good mood — the same mood he was in when they were texting between classes earlier that day.

It turned out, ironically, that Alex didn't feel like staying indoors at Monet's, so they grabbed their drinks and went outside to sit at the wooden benches that looked over the river. It was a bright, sunny day at the end of spring, and it was easy to tell by the dryness in the air that summer was on the corner. Charlie had elected a blueberry bubble tea for the day, and Alex was staring at it thoughtfully while munching on the ice crystals of his frappuccino.

“I gotta say I used to be pretty bold with my drinks,” he said conversationally, “but I don't think I'd ever manage to ingest anything holding that amount of color additives.”

“You seem to have a problem with my beverage of choice,” mused Charlie good-naturedly, taking the time to analyze his drink with a critical eye for once. Alex maybe had a point. It _was_ very blue. 

The older boy chuckled and shook his head. “Not really, I just think they're funny. They're so flashy-- they definitely know how to make an impression.”

Charlie smiled and took a sip of his tea, enjoying the cold, sugary liquid overwhelming his taste buds. There was a question rolling on his head ever since Alex had asked about Luke and Diego, still at the school's parking lot. He'd managed to keep it in so far, assessing the general mood after that brief, tense moment, and everything seemed to be going smoothly. So Charlie felt confident in asking, his curiosity winning over his caution. 

“Have you told your friends?” He asked, voice sounding smaller than he intended. 

Alex glanced at him, frowning slightly. “What, about us?”

Charlie turned his head to look at Alex fully, gaining one ounce or two of confidence when the expression on Alex's face seemed only confused, not offended. “Yeah, that we found each other.”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. Then he tilted his head slightly, thinking better about the question. “Well, not all of them yet. I told Zach yesterday but you already knew that,” he offered.

“I sure did,” said Charlie casually. “Still going over in my head how he promised to rip my balls off of my body if I ever as much as breathed wrong your way.”

“I'm sure he didn't phrase it like that,” laughed Alex. 

“You're right, it was worse, actually,” frowned Charlie, deep in thought.

“And I also told Jess,” continued Alex, an amused smile on his face, “this morning, right before I went to talk to you. And after, too, because she is nosy as fuck and wouldn't stop asking for details.”

“I know what you mean,” Charlie snorted a laugh, remembering his own friends' curiosity earlier at lunch. “And did you tell her?”

“I'd like to see you try and say no to Jessica,” Alex arched his eyebrows. “She always gets the last word, somehow.”

“Oh, God, is she like that? Should I be worried?” Charlie's eyes widened in concern.

“You probably should. If Zach's shovel talk shook you on your core, you might wanna psyche yourself up for Jess's,” warned Alex, barely hiding his amusement at Charlie's horrified expression. 

“I can't tell if you're joking,” deadpanned Charlie. 

“I'm not,” declared Alex. “Jess-- well, she's not much of a jock enthusiast right now, so try not to take it personally when you meet her.”

“Okay,” said Charlie, apprehensive. 

“Also,” added Alex, and here his tone changed to a calculated one, eyes focused on the tip of his straw he'd been biting into for the last ten minutes, “we used to date. For a while.”

It took Charlie more than he liked to admit to process Alex's words. “Oh,” he said, at last, barely hiding his surprise. 

“It wasn't anything recent,” explained Alex. “I just thought you should know, in case it comes up.”

“Yeah,” nodded Charlie, stunned eyes still fixed on Alex. “Yeah, sure, I get that.”

Was he jealous? Did he even have the right to be jealous? It happened before he and Alex even met — and it wasn't like he hadn't had a few girlfriends of his own, so what the hell. Why was he fixating on this detail? 

“Your face is doing an odd thing,” informed Alex, his gaze now focused on Charlie.

“What?” Charlie snapped back to the present, wincing when he realized he wasn't disguising his mixed feelings as well as he would've liked. “Sorry, I zoned out a bit. I just had no idea you guys had dated.”

“Does this bother you?” Asked Alex, curious. 

“No?” Said Charlie but he could hear the hesitation in his own voice. At Alex's raised eyebrows, he let out a faint chuckle, shrugging one shoulder self-consciously. “No, really, it's not that. I just realized I had never considered that my soulmate — well, _you_ — I had never stopped to think of the possibility of you being in previous relationships when we met. Which is silly, now that I think of it.”

“Yeah, well, it was only Jess, to be fair,” reasoned Alex. “Not like there's a long list of exes.”

“Really?” Said Charlie, this time even more surprised and taken aback. 

“Why, you actually thought there was a list?” Alex frowned, baffled. 

“No, that's not what I-- Jesus, this is coming out all wrong,” sighed Charlie, one hand threading through his hair in distress. “I don't know what I expected, honestly. But... Her being your only girlfriend, she must be really special to you. Also, the fact that she's still in your life and everything. You must really like her.”

A sudden realization hit Alex, his face lighting up in understanding. “Wait, are you jealous?” He asked, equal parts skeptical and amused. 

“Well, should I be?” Countered Charlie, eyebrows raised. 

“Fuck _no_ ,” Alex laughed, shaking his head vehemently. “Jess and I-- it was a disaster. Don't get me wrong, she really is special to me and I love her a whole lot as a friend, but as a couple... We were a mistake from the very start. It's a miracle our friendship survived.”

“What happened?” Asked Charlie, interested. 

Alex shrugged. “I was an asshole. She kinda was one too, after. Point is, we never really saw each other as more than friends, I don't know what the fuck we were thinking. I guess we weren't.”

“I'm sorry,” said Charlie sympathetically. 

“Are you now?” Asked Alex, amused. 

“Well, yes, if it caused you to hurt in any capacity,” explained Charlie, offering a tentative smile as he added, “but I can't say I'm sad you guys aren't currently dating. It would've been-- well.”

“Awkward, to say the least,” completed Alex. He frowned, tilting his head to look at Charlie. “How come are you not dating?”

“Um. I'm sorry, did you want me to be?” Asked Charlie, confused. 

“No, of course not, but you're-- well, look at you,” said Alex in an obvious tone. At Charlie's puzzled expression, he sighed, gesturing in the younger boy's general direction. “You are this super nice, one in a million kind of jock. I bet the girls lined up to get a chance with you.”

“Oh, so you think I'm boyfriend material?” Joked Charlie, a smug smile curving his lips. 

“Don't be silly, you know you are,” Alex rolled his eyes, amused. 

_Then why aren't you dating me?_ was on the tip of Charlie's tongue but in a conscious effort, he managed to laugh it off with a shrug. “Well, for starters, thank you very much, I'm flattered you think so--”

“Stop fucking stalling,” chuckled Alex. “Come on, I told you about my unimpressively short list consisting of one failed relationship so far. It's only fair you do the same.”

Charlie sighed, leg jittering in a bout of nervousness. Not because he minded to talk about the girls he'd been with, but because--

“I've dated a few girls but nothing ever became too serious,” he started, chancing a glance at Alex and noticing the older boy's eyes were glued to him. He tried to keep a steady voice and a neutral face as he added, “It never seemed worth pursuing when my soulmark wouldn't show after touching them.”

It took Alex one second too much to register Charlie's words, and then a couple more to hide the surprise on his face. “Oh,” he said, at last, blinking. “I see.”

“You think I'm crazy,” affirmed Charlie, half expecting that reaction anyway. 

“No, I don't,” Alex shook his head, firmly. “It's just-- when Jess and I dated, we knew we weren't each other's soulmates. But it was nice while it lasted, before everything went to shit. I guess I just never considered this as a dealbreaker before. But I assume it makes sense if you grow up believing in soulmate bonds as romantic, and hoping for the moment they'll happen to you,” reasoned Alex. 

“Oh, okay, so not crazy, stupid it is,” mused Charlie airily. 

“Jesus, no, would you stop that,” laughed Alex, exasperated. He let out a sigh, head ducking slightly as his voice turned smaller. “No, I think it's quite sweet, actually. How fiercely you believe in it.” He lifted his head and stared at Charlie, the line of his shoulders tight with tension. “I feel I'm being a huge letdown for you, with all of my doubts and reservations and shit I still have to process.”

Charlie's eyes softened. “You're not,” he reassured, with conviction. He watched as Alex's gaze darted away from his, and bumped his knee slightly against the older boy's to catch his attention. “Hey, look at me.”

Alex begrudgingly tore his eyes from his empty cup and fixed them back on Charlie's clear blue ones. 

“You are not a letdown to me. It doesn't bother me that you don't have it all figured out yet, Alex. I don't have it either, and I've been waiting my whole life for this to happen. There's not a textbook we have to follow here,” Charlie pointed out, and Alex's shoulders sagged visibly in relief. Charlie smiled, wishing with all his might that one day Alex could feel as confident in them as he felt. “We'll be alright. We'll learn from all of this, together.”

Alex nodded slowly, his eyes now intent on Charlie with a mixture of gratitude and embarrassment. “You'll probably still have to say that a few more times along the way,” he warned, a hint of self-deprecation bleeding into his voice. 

He hadn't moved away from where Charlie's knee touched his. Charlie embraced the opportunity — slowly, he let his leg rest against Alex's, bodies touching from knee to ankle, the light press of their limbs tingling even with the layers of fabric that separated their skins. Alex didn't protest or pull away from their point of contact. Charlie grinned, encouraged, even if for such a small gesture of budding trust. 

“I'll say it as many times it takes for you to start believing it,” Charlie promised, eyes earnest and open, wishing he could reach out with his hand and push Alex's hair away from his forehead. Technically, he could. But he didn't. One step at a time. They would learn their rhythm together, he had just said so himself. 

Any worries he might've had were swept away from his mind by Alex's smile, begrudgingly spreading on his lips, coupled with that long-suffering expression Charlie was beginning to associate to instances where he said something too cheesy according to Alex's book. But his smile was there. And it was all Charlie cared about.

He grinned back to his soulmate, eyes lingering on his lovely features for a moment before turning back to the view in front of them, dark blue water scintillating under the spring sun, and the light breeze around them bringing Charlie an odd sense of peace. No, things with him and Alex weren't going the way he'd dreamed of his whole life. This didn't mean to say that the path they were about to brave together couldn't be as thrilling and beautiful all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this unexpected bump, I hope to get things back to my initial weekly posting now. Please be kind to give me your thoughts about this chapter! It took away half of my sanity as I wrote it lol thank you all for reading <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, remember when the summary said Alex had a lot of questions? I meant it, lol. It seems Charlie is having some of his own as well. This chapter is entirely from his perspective, and in the next one, we'll be focusing on Alex before going back to alternating. Enjoy some of Charlie's POV!
> 
> (Little reminder about the canon events: Alex and his friends are taking turns to keep Tyler company after what happened at Spring Fling, and none of them knows at this point what Monty did to him.)

##  **Friday, May 11 — Monday, May 14**

In retrospect, it was a relief that Alex had the presence of mind of asking Charlie for his number. Their date at Monet's was immediately followed by a weekend, and Charlie honestly didn't know if he could go for two entire days without hearing anything from his soulmate. It sounded a bit too dramatic and Charlie was aware of it, thank you very much — but it was also true. With the last couple of days being so intense for them, the perspective of spending a full weekend completely disconnected from Alex sounded ridiculous.

When he dropped the older boy at his house on Friday evening, it was with a pang in his chest that Charlie realized he wouldn't see much of Alex until Monday. His mind started to run through a lot of ideas for them to meet over the weekend but he refrained from suggesting them, afraid of coming off too hard. He feared this not because he didn't want Alex to see how interested he was — in fact, Charlie wanted to make sure Alex was aware of it at all times — but because he didn't want to overwhelm the older boy with his eagerness. He didn't want to do anything that could make Alex uneasy around him, not when it seemed like they were slowly making progress in finding their footing together.

“Can I text you?” Charlie ended up blurting out before Alex could leave his car. “Over the weekend?”

He chanced a look at Alex, sat by his side in the passenger seat. The older boy looked surprised but mostly his expression was pleased. _Good,_ Charlie thought, the tightness in his chest easing up a little. Not that he thought Alex would say no — but it was so much better to see he seemed interested as well. 

“Yeah, sure,” said Alex, allowing a lopsided grin to surge on his lips. “I was kinda counting on it, to be honest.”

And this was how it started. Once the first message was sent that night, texting became a habit both Alex and Charlie fell into fairly quickly. Ironically enough, Charlie had only sent the first text to test the waters ( _fine_ , also because he couldn't steer his mind away from Alex for too long) but he didn't expect much of a reply. It was just a good night text after all. But he did get one anyway. 

**(10:14 PM) Charlie St. George:** _g'night <3 hope you manage to get some good sleep_

 **(10:17 PM) Alex Standall:** _its 10pm charles who the fuck sleeps this early_

 **(10:18 PM) Charlie St. George:** _uh excuse me?? it's a perfectly reasonable time to go to bed_

 **(10:20 PM) Alex Standall:** _is this an old lady i hear_

 **(10:20 PM) Charlie St. George:** _it's the only way to guarantee 8 hours of sleep per night!!!!_

 **(10:21 PM) Alex Standall:** _hang on 8 hours?_

 **(10:23 PM) Alex Standall:** _why on earth would you get up at 6 am every day?_

 **(10:24 PM) Charlie St. George:** _well, some days a week i have practice before first period_

 **(10:25 PM) Charlie St. George:** _and when that's not the case, i like to go for a run in the morning before getting to class_

 **(10:26 PM) Alex Standall:** _jfc stop youre killing me_

 **(10:27 PM) Charlie St. George:** _why, do healthy habits weird you out?_

 **(10:28 PM) Alex Standall:** _no you freak YOU weird me out_

 **(10:29 PM) Alex Standall:** _also ffs its saturday tomorrow_

 **(10:31 PM) Alex Standall:** _why would you need to wake up at school hours on a saturday_

 **(10:32 PM) Charlie St. George:** _... to hit the gym?_

 **(10:35 PM) Alex Standall:** _you gotta be FUCKING KIDDING ME_

Their text conversation picked up from there — robbing Charlie of at least one hour of sleep before he passed out with his phone still in hand, in the middle of typing a reply to Alex — and it kept the same rhythm throughout all of Saturday and Sunday. Alex was a slow replier (Charlie had noticed the older boy struggled with his coordination when typing on his phone) but he was definitely an enthusiastic one. They exchanged messages back and forth all over the weekend, and by Sunday night, Charlie felt like he knew a lot more about Alex than he'd ever expected to know in such a short time.

Charlie learned that Alex was a movie nerd and a huge FPS fan. He took his musical preferences very seriously, and he wasn't shy at all to give a piece of his mind about Charlie's. Alex loved Modern History and Philosophy and hated Math and Spanish with a passion. He mentioned having an older brother, and also that he and his family weren't originally from Evergreen. Alex didn't like mornings and seemed perpetually baffled that Charlie did, and more so that he tried his best to keep the habit of waking up early even on weekends. 

His humor was sometimes caustic and it took Charlie some getting used to it to know when Alex was being serious or just sarcastic (frankly, Charlie was still working on that one). But he could also be hesitant and soft when talking about himself, and kind and loyal whenever the conversation turned to any of his friends. Alex managed the amazing feat of being edgy and sweet and mindful, all at the same time, and his comments on a random episode of _The Walking Dead_ they watched from their respective beds on Sunday night prompted a good share of laughs out of Charlie.

The younger boy didn't think he could get even more invested in his soulmate but reality was there to prove he could. Every little piece of new information he was given helped him put together the intricate puzzle that was Alex Standall, and Charlie just wanted more. The more he learned, the more he wanted to know. The more he discovered, the more he ached to figure Alex out. Charlie felt in his bones that this boy was his future, and he wondered if Alex could feel the same too. But he deftly opted to keep their soulmate bond out of their text convos over the weekend, and Alex didn't make a point of bringing it up either. 

He did bombard Charlie with a lot of questions of his own, though, which was enough to let the younger boy know that Alex was true to his word and interested in knowing Charlie better. This alone was enough to light up a fire of hope and faith inside Charlie's chest. Alex wanted to give them a chance. On his terms, on his time, but he was not pushing Charlie away. He never had, not even on the first day, when he still seemed so baffled that the soulmate thing was _actually a thing_. Charlie still felt a grin spreading on his lips whenever he remembered Alex's put off expression while rushing to meet him right after their soulmarks revealed.

Monday rolled by faster than Charlie anticipated, and while he was sure that keeping in touch with Alex over the weekend helped him feel like time didn't slouch, he was eager to see Alex in the flesh all the same. Texting could only go so far to soothe Charlie's longing. He wanted to be next to Alex, wanted to watch the lines of his expression softening when he smiled, wanted to smell the citric shampoo on his hair when they sat close to each other like last Friday. It was a sweet kind of torture. Charlie craved this, these small things, even though he knew that when he had them, he would start craving for more. 

They agreed to meet when classes were done for the day. Charlie would have liked to see Alex sooner but for some evil turn of destiny, they had classes on opposite ends of the school grounds that day. Also, Alex wouldn't be around for lunch. He mentioned vaguely something about a medical appointment, and the bubble of excitement in Charlie's chest at the perspective of seeing his soulmate deflated morosely with this news. But it didn't last long. When Alex asked if Charlie could take him home at the end of their classes, the jock almost dropped his phone in his eagerness to reply with a solid _yes_.

However, he had football practice in the way, and it was with a slump on his shoulders that Charlie headed to the field after his last period. It was unusual for him to feel so bummed about football but his mind kept insisting on informing him that every minute he spent in practice was another minute he was away from Alex. It didn't contribute to putting Charlie in a good mood. 

His wait was cut short by Alex showing up at practice, much to Charlie's surprise. They had just finished laps when Alex discreetly entered the field — well, _discreetly_ for the other players. No one as much as looked in his direction when he showed up but Charlie's soulmark was unequivocally stinging even before he'd laid eyes on Alex.

Charlie knew this was something that could happen between soulmates but it still caught him by surprise. He could sense Alex coming closer, his marking making a point of having him acknowledge the older boy's presence with all of his attention. As if Charlie could ignore him. Alex was in his thoughts from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to bed, and it wasn't rare that he showed up in his dreams as well. He didn't need a physical reminder in the form of his soulmark burning a hole into his bicep every time the other boy was in his surroundings but it didn't seem to be something Charlie had any control over.

Alex threw him a discrete salute, a small smile playing on his lips as he headed to the bleachers with a tall boy on his heels. Charlie recognized him as the yearbook kid. He trailed behind Alex with a baffled expression on his face, as if he couldn't figure out what the hell they were doing there, in the field. Charlie couldn't blame him. He was thrown off himself.

That was the end of Charlie's focus for the time being. He kept sneaking glances towards the bleachers, double-checking constantly if his eyes weren't playing a trick on him, wanting to make sure his soulmate was really there. It never occurred to Charlie that Alex would come to his practice to wait for him — and still, there he was.

“Dude, you're zoning out ever since your boy stepped into the field,” Diego's voice sounded urgent and concerned by his side. “Get your shit together or coach Kerba will be all over you. He's still not over you missing practice last week.”

With a mighty effort, Charlie's eyes darted from Alex and landed on Diego's unimpressed face. He blinked, taking a second longer to catch up with his friend's words. 

“Sorry!” Charlie blurted, throwing the football back to Diego with a grimace. 

His friend had a point. Charlie scratched his inner bicep absentmindedly, eyes fleeting over Alex one last time before he forced himself to focus on practice. Other players would be switching teams during summer break, and they needed to be on their prime when this happened not to risk losing positions to the newcomers. Charlie was intent to make quarterback for the next season. He needed to keep his head in the game. 

It was easier said than done, though. A few slips and some yells from coach Kerba later, Charlie headed to the locker room with mild concern growing in the back of his mind.

“Man, if this is how people get when they meet their soulmates, I don't wanna meet mine until I've scored a scholarship,” said Luke while they were getting changed after showering. “Your footwork was a disgrace today, St. George.”

“Thanks, Luke, I've noticed,” said Charlie, not unkindly but annoyed at himself for being so distracted, even with his best efforts to concentrate.

“I'm just saying, man, we're getting the new guys in a few weeks. It's not the best time to have your head out of the game,” warned Luke.

“I know,” sighed Charlie. “I just had no idea it'd be so hard to keep focused. Guess I'll have to find a way to get used to Alex being around without dropping the ball every ten seconds.”

“Come on, man, it wasn't that bad,” laughed Diego, bumping Charlie on the shoulder. “How are things between you two going anyways?”

Charlie shrugged, trying to look chill — and not like messed up his footing in the field at least three times because his mind wouldn't let him stop thinking about seeing Alex after practice. “It's going good,” he said simply. 

Luke groaned in frustration. “You're getting boring, St. George!” He declared, voice booming against the tiled walls. “Remember a time when you used to share the details of your hookups with us? Damn, your soulmate's turning you into a fucking priest. And you're not even dating this boy yet.”

“First of all, that's a huge stretch,” countered Charlie, eyebrows arched. “I didn't _share the details_. You guys annoyed me so much to the point I'd let something escape--”

“Worked every time,” said Diego proudly, putting his fist out in Luke's direction. Luke grinned, nodding enthusiastically and fist-bumping his friend. 

“Second,” continued Charlie with a roll of his eyes to his friends' behavior, “I don't know how to stress this enough for you: nothing is happening! It's not even a week yet since we found out, we barely had time enough to _talk_ in person. We're not tearing at each other's clothes every minute we're together.”

“And that is such a shame,” sighed Luke. “All the potential but no action.”

“See, this is why I don't want you guys meeting him,” pointed out Charlie, speaking over Diego's laugh. “I'm sure you'll say one word to Alex and that's it, I'll never see my soulmate again.”

“Come on, dude, I can behave,” said Luke, looking hurt. 

“You can't,” declared Diego, traces of his laugh still in his voice. However, when he turned to look at Charlie, he looked softer and understanding. “Look, man, I'm sorry if we're being too nosy. It's just that this is as new to us as it is to you. We haven't found our soulmates yet, we can't help but be curious. But we'll leave you be--”

“I didn't agree to that,” protested Luke, looking at Diego in disbelief.

“We'll leave you be,” repeated Diego, throwing Luke a meaningful glare, “and you can tell us anything you want whenever you feel like. This must be a lot already as it is, and I'm sorry we were all over you for details.”

Charlie's shoulders loosened a little, and he offered Diego a smile. “Thanks, man. It has been wild, to be honest, I don't know what to make of a lot of it yet. I will tell you guys things, though, when I'm a little more sure of everything that's going on.”

“That's my boy,” said Diego, pulling Charlie into a one-armed hug.

“For the record, I didn't promise shit,” warned Luke, but his brooding expression spoke volumes of his begrudging acceptance of staying out of Charlie's business. Diego and Charlie laughed at his friend's easy-to-read manners, and they bickered amenably some more while organizing their bags before making their way out of the locker rooms.

Charlie waved Luke and Diego goodbye and hopped the stairs to the bleachers, where Alex still sat with his friend. He offered the two juniors a smile as he approached, and Alex returned the gesture when he noticed Charlie's presence.

“How was practice?” Alex asked, blue eyes squinting a little under the sun as he lifted his head to peer up at Charlie.

Charlie almost grimaced after the question. Thank God Alex was so clueless about football. Anyone with the slightest grasp of the game's dynamics could tell Charlie hadn't been brilliant today.

“Could've been better,” he answered, at last. He waved at Alex's friend, a small smile on his lips. “Hey.”

“Charlie, this is Tyler,” introduced Alex, and Charlie wasn't sure but he believed part of his mind unconsciously knew that information. He'd heard on more than one occasion some guys from the baseball team making rude comments about this boy. “Do you mind if we drop him home on our way to my place? Usually, it'd be my mom picking us up today but since you agreed to give me a ride...”

“Yeah, sure, no problem,” said Charlie easily.

Alex smiled at him in return but this Tyler kid seemed skittish as hell, to the point of avoiding eye contact with Charlie as he muttered his 'thanks'. Charlie didn't blame him, really. He hated that some of the Liberty Tigers ended up giving them all a bad name but he couldn't say he didn't understand where that came from.

Charlie helped Alex up from his seat, his mind doing its best not to focus on the warm feeling that spread through his arms down to all of his body when their hands touched as he supported Alex into a standing position. They quickly let go of each other's hands as soon as the older boy was steady on his feet. A light flush rested on Alex's cheeks, and Charlie had to avert his eyes so that pull that wanted to drag him into Alex's lips didn't threaten to overtake him.

His gaze ended up falling on Tyler instead. The tall boy was watching their charged interaction with an intrigued frown on his face. Charlie almost laughed — he and Alex weren't smooth _at all_ , were they — but he didn't know how much this friend of Alex's knew about what was going on with them, so he refrained from doing so.

Something in their dynamics must have given them away, though, for Tyler didn't seem to be missing the tension lingering in the air between Charlie and Alex. To be honest, Charlie couldn't say he was clueless to what was probably giving them away. He felt his body naturally gravitating towards Alex, searching for as much closeness as he could get after two days apart.

And as far as he could tell, Alex didn't seem to mind this. If anything, he seemed to be drawn to Charlie as well. The entire walk from the football field to the parking lot, their arms kept bumping into each other's, fingers brushing by the sides of their bodies, eyes darting sideway glances to the other whenever these instances happened, sheepish smiles on their lips as they stepped apart only to have this ritual repeating itself a few minutes after, as soon as they were distracted again. Charlie's heart was thundering, lodged somewhere around his throat. Jesus Christ, he was done for if these kind of soft, unintentional touches were enough to leave him winded like that.

Once they were all settled in his car — Alex by his side on the passenger seat in a sight that was starting to feel comfortably familiar to Charlie, Tyler in the backseat still watching them quite intently —, Charlie started the engine and turned the radio on his favorite station. Alex hummed thoughtfully, head leaning against the headrest as a slight crease formed between his eyebrows.

“You know what, I think we should invest in a more democratic music-picking scheme,” stated Alex, still looking deep in thought.

“Yeah? How so?” Asked Charlie, throwing him a curious glance while maneuvering out of his parking spot.

“You got to choose what we'd listen the last two times,” remembered Alex. “It's only fair I have a say in it too. From now on, I mean.”

“Sure, by all means,” agreed Charlie, pleasantly surprised. He reached for the stereo panel at the same time Alex did so, and their hands met halfway. Alex pulled his hand back quickly as if burned by Charlie's touch, and holy shit, Charlie could painfully relate. He laughed it off, though, soldiering on and fiddling with the panel buttons for a moment, changing modes so Alex could connect his phone to the car system. “We can take turns picking.”

“You're one turn ahead of me already, though,” said Alex faintly, his attention focused on his phone screen as he looked up his favorite playlist. “So I should have two days on a row this week.”

Charlie had to fully turn to look at Alex this time. He just had to — he was also sure he was gaping a little. “This week? As in, you'll be coming home with me after school every day this week?”

Alex's eyes snapped up to Charlie's face, alarmed. “Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to assume. Just, this weekend you said you didn't mind to drop me home sometimes, so I thought--”

“It's fine,” Charlie scurried to ease him, eyes alternating between Alex and the road with a smile. “I really don't mind, I'm actually happy to do it. I look forward to your shady music choices.”

Alex snorted a laugh through his nose, reassured, gaze returning briefly to his screen as he hit play on The Clash's _London Calling_. “I'm not _shady_ ,” he retorted. “I have very specific tastes you won't find in just any average top popular songs playlist.”

“Yeah... I'm afraid I call that shady,” informed Charlie, to what Alex merely rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips.

The older boy leaned in to secure his phone in the holder, and Charlie caught a whiff of his shampoo from such a distance. He let out a strained breath, stopping at the red light. It was driving him crazy how such little things could affect him so much, and make a haphazard mess of how he felt inside.

Alex lifted his eyes and caught Charlie's on him. The jock could swear he heard the older boy's breath catching in his throat. Their gazes remained locked for what felt like centuries, but it couldn't be more than the few seconds it took for the light to turn green.

A sharp honk coming from the car right behind Charlie's startled the two teenagers out of their trances. Charlie blinked, catching his bearings as fast as he could, and Alex leaned back fully against his seat, a faint blush spreading on his face.

“How was it that the two of you met again?” Asked Tyler, and Charlie honest-to-god jumped on his seat. For a moment there, he had completely forgotten that he and Alex weren't alone.

“Uh, last week-- I told you about this, Ty,” said Alex, still sounding distracted, looking over at Tyler in the backseat. “Charlie offered to help me with my books before Spanish.”

“Yeah, no, I know that,” nodded Tyler. “Just. You guys seem really in tune for people who just met like, what, three days ago.”

“Four, actually,” Charlie chipped in.

Tyler looked at him unimpressed before turning his gaze back to Alex. “What's going on here?”

Alex sighed, this time twisting in his seat to look fully at his friend. “I should've told you this earlier,” he bit his lip, weighing his words and seeming to come to the realization there was no way to soften the blow. “Charlie is my soulmate.”

Charlie didn't realize he was tense about this exchange until the words spilled out of Alex's mouth — and then he was light, his breath easy again, a warm, slow thrill going down his spine at hearing their recent discovery in his soulmate's low drawl. Saying it himself was a rush, but hearing it in Alex's voice was something else entirely.

Belatedly, he lifted his eyes to Tyler through the rearview mirror. There was no other way to describe the expression on the boy's face — it was frozen horror. Charlie frowned, doing his best not to take it personally, but honestly. He knew Alex and his friends weren't particularly fond of the jock crew but the look on Tyler's face spoke a little too loud of his own reservations.

“Oh,” Tyler said, at last, shock still written in each line of his face.

“We just found out,” amended Alex quickly. “We're still trying to figure things out. Not everyone knows yet.”

“Yeah, sure, of course,” nodded Tyler distractedly. Alex looked at him at a loss, not knowing what to say to ease his friend's wariness.

Charlie didn't think there was anything he could say, anyway. Tyler didn't offer much after that — in fact, he put up his walls so fast it was like a solid shield formed around him, visible even to Charlie, who wasn't that familiar with him. The younger boy could feel it building up in the air, emanating from the backseat in waves as the other junior remained stubbornly silent the rest of the way to his house.

As soon as Charlie parked across his porch, Tyler was out of the car. He slammed the door carelessly as he rushed across the street, disappearing into his house faster than Alex and Charlie could blink.

Alex let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head apologetically. “I'm sorry. I didn't know he would react that badly.”

“I'm not entirely sure I know what just happened,” mused Charlie, putting the gearing back into action so they could head to Alex's. “But-- you didn't have to tell him anything if you didn't feel like it. You know that, right?”

“No, I know,” conceded Alex with a nod. “I wanted to. Tyler is one of my closest friends, I wouldn't wanna keep him in the dark about it for too long. It's just-- lately, he's going through some heavy shit, and I didn't know exactly how to approach this with him.”

“Too bad he knows you too well, then,” said Charlie, a bit amused. “He caught on to us pretty fast. Do you think we're being too obvious?”

“What do you mean, obvious?” Frowned Alex, looking over at his soulmate in the driver's seat.

“Alex,” said Charlie reasonably. At the older boy's still clueless expression, he laughed quietly. Then he focused his gaze on Alex's eyes before deliberately lowering it to his lips.

Alex flustered upon catching on to what Charlie meant, quickly darting his eyes away. He fidgeted with his cane in search of what to do with his hands before letting out an embarrassed chuckle, shaking his head as he returned his focus to Charlie's previous question, aiming for safer territory. “No, I don't think it was so much about us being obvious or whatever. Tyler is just, insanely perceptive. Not much goes unnoticed by him.”

Charlie hummed, looking at Alex with curious eyes. “You seem a bit upset.”

Alex sighed, shoulders sagging a little as he nodded. “Yeah, I kinda wish I've told him before he noticed on his own. He's got some issues where he sometimes thinks we don't really wanna be friends with him, and I fear I just made it worse by not telling him from the start.”

“Why would he think that?” Frowned Charlie, bemused.

Alex looked uncomfortable, thinking the question through for a second before shaking his head. “Sorry, it's not my story to tell. I can't talk to you about it,” he looked at Charlie apologetically.

“Oh. Okay, I get that,” nodded Charlie. But truth is, deep down there was a small grain of unease starting to bud in his chest.

Alex and his oddly assorted group of friends were this closed off, isolated entity. It was easy to tell something bonded them all together but Charlie couldn't put his finger on what it was — and part of him was starting to worry maybe he never would. He understood why Alex didn't want to share anything that didn't concern him but he feared how much of it was directly connected to his soulmate's own struggles, and how much this played into Alex refraining from telling Charlie things about himself. 

They drove the remaining distance to Alex's house in deep, pensive silence, the low bass of a post-punk song unknown to Charlie playing as the soundtrack to their racing thoughts. Charlie wanted to fill the air between them, he wanted to prevent it from growing heavy with awkwardness or tension — but everything that came to his mind was _questions questions questions_ , and he didn't want to sound like he was pushing Alex for answers. So he swallowed his questions and his doubts — and goddammit, he knew he and Alex had promised to be fully open with each other but he was realizing it could be hard sometimes. It could be hard to know what to say, it could be hard not to mess it all up — it could be so hard to refrain from point-blank asking Alex what secrets he was keeping that he didn't trust Charlie to know. 

All things considered, when he parked in front of Alex's house, Charlie was feeling a bit under the weather. Alex didn't seem to share this mindset, though. He surprised Charlie with an unexpected question. 

“Do you really think we're being too obvious?” He asked, still not making a move to get out of the car. 

Charlie sighed and turned off the engine. His mind was running a mile a minute, and for once he wasn't able to inject the cheerful confidence that usually dripped from his voice. “Why, you don't want people to know?”

Alex shook his head slowly, seeming to struggle to translate his thoughts into words. “No, it's not that. I don't give a shit about who knows or doesn't, as long as I get to tell the people I care about first,” he affirmed. “It just. Made me wonder.”

“Wonder about what?” Frowned Charlie, not following Alex's train of thought. 

“Well... If you say we're being obvious, it's because you believe _something_ between us is giving off the vibes we're more than just friends, and to be honest, I feel it too,” Alex stated, and plowed on before Charlie even had the time to piece together his understanding of this first statement. “Are we doing this wrong?” he asked, looking as lost as Charlie himself felt. “Are we holding off-- for what? Cause I'm scared shitless to face it head on, and you're too fucking nice to say otherwise?”

“Okay, calm down now, you're getting ahead of yourself,” Charlie arched his eyebrows, hands hovering between them in a hesitant attempt to ease Alex's mood.

“What, you mean to say you're not holding off?” Alex snapped, eyes burning with doubts and questions, and above it all with the frustration of not just-knowing the answers to everything. 

“Believe me, _I am_ ,” stressed Charlie, and his blunt admission seemed to surprise Alex out of his rant. He sighed, hands falling in his lap and his gaze following them. “But this isn't-- that's not my main concern right now. I'm afraid you're having a hard time trusting me because of your past experiences with other jocks, and I get it, honestly, I do. I just feel like this gave me a late start from the beginning, and I don't know what to do to catch up.”

Charlie could hear it in his voice — the way it turned smaller with every word he said, his worries bleeding into his speech, and he deeply disliked that Alex got to see him like that. He wasn't ashamed, that wasn't the point. But so far, everything in their dynamics pointed to him being a solid support for Alex to lean on. Charlie didn't know what could come if he was the one to waver — if he dared to show his concerns and doubts, where could that lead them?

He jolted when Alex's hands reached his, the older boy's touch catching him off guard. Charlie lifted his eyes to his soulmate, searching his face for meaning, reassurance, comfort — he didn't even know for sure what it was that he was looking for, and Alex's touch branding its own mark into his skin wasn't helping him to keep focused.

“It doesn't have to do with that,” Alex's eyes were urgent when they locked with Charlie's, his words mindful and earnest, getting through the younger boy's worries and soothing them in a way Charlie himself didn't know he needed. “If you hadn't told me from the start you're in this fucking team, I'm not sure I'd have picked it up. You're the complete opposite of the stereotype I despise so much. This is not what's making me wary of opening up to you, I promise,” Alex stated, his thumb brushing against Charlie's knuckles in an unconscious motion that stole all of Charlie's attention. He sighed, shoulder's sagging as he admitted, “I have stuff that if I share, I fear you'll never see me the same way again.”

Charlie shook his head, a wry smile on his lips as he swallowed the _I would never_ that immediately came to his mind. Instead, he laced his fingers through Alex's and squeezed them gently, wishing he could lend, through that gesture, as much reassurance to Alex as the older boy was lending to him. 

“I like what I've seen so far,” Charlie offered softly. “And I can't wait to see more. Whenever more comes, and whatever more is.”

Alex smiled, lowering his gaze to their fingers entwined, and Charlie could hear the tremor on his soulmate's voice as he answered. “I like what I've seen so far from you, too,” Alex shrugged one shoulder self-consciously but his eyes were firmly locked on Charlie's as he added, “I like it more than I expected for such a short time.”

Charlie could tell his smile was too big for his face. So he was a hopeless romantic all right. 

Hearing this didn't magically erase Charlie's worries but it gave him the confidence that he and Alex were making progress together. It also didn't hurt to learn that Alex was on board to reassure and support him if it was Charlie's turn to falter. They were slowly reaching an even ground of sorts, where both felt safe they could share their thoughts and feelings, even if somewhat wary of the other's reaction. But Charlie supposed this was normal. Soulmate bond or not, he and Alex were complete strangers until a few days ago, now getting to know each other, and their boundaries and beliefs, a little more every day.

They were both lost and clueless to the novelty of it all, fumbling for answers that seemed to dissolve in front of their eyes. But they were together, thought Charlie with no small amount of relief as he stared at their fingers, still entwined, Alex's right hand grasping his firmer than the left. Charlie was game to bet his chances on this. He was game to his chances on them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This end came out angstier than I anticipated. I'm not entirely happy about it but I also didn't wanna postpone much some topics they need to start sorting out between them. Next chapter comes with a lighter note, I promise! As always, thank you all for reading <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned before, I'm a little crazy with details, so I started to put together a chronology for this story so I wouldn't get lost timewise. It was mostly for my own tracking of time but then I thought - what the hell, it might interest you guys to know when things are taking place too. So from this chapter on, the dates will be included for you to have a better grasp of the time passing. I went back and added the dates for the older chapters as well.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! Alex's POV, here we go :D

##  **Thursday, May 17**

Alex woke up on that Thursday morning with a funny, itching feeling under his skin. He couldn't immediately put his finger on what was making him feel that way, and it wasn't until he was showered and dressed up for school, eating a quick breakfast with his mom, that realization hit him.

Today it completed one week since he'd found out Charlie was his soulmate.

It was with a weird sense of detachment that he rolled the idea around in his head. Seven days ago, he didn't even know who Charlie was. Cut back to the present, where the younger boy seemed to be living rent-free in his head, staking his claim on Alex's thoughts and feelings, honestly being the fucking reason why he smiled more often lately — and while the most rational part of Alex's brain was lowkey freaking out with how much things had changed in such a short amount of time, he found it so very hard to give a shit. It was hard to worry too much when everything about Charlie seemed designed to calm him down and give him confidence.

Alex had always been a little wary of the idea of soulmate bonds because the way he saw it, they mostly served to make people biased over who they should embark on a relationship with. It was fairly known that soulmates could end up being other than romantic partners but most people took it as a statement of who your one-true-love was. Though in most cases it did happen to be like that, it wasn't set in stone. Holding the other part of someone's soul wasn't necessarily a contract of eternal love and commitment.

One week after meeting his soulmate, Alex knew for a fact that Charlie was one of those people who saw it that way. Alex, for his part, was keen to admit that ever since he'd accepted the idea, the thought of having someone who would be there for him through thick and thin felt soothing. Comforting. Not an automatic assumption of romantic love, though. They had very different views about it, and it had shown from the very beginning. It wasn't that rare for soulmates to start with the wrong foot for not seeing eye to eye. Not all recovered from it. 

Alex didn't think this was the case of him and Charlie, though.

Those last few days had flown by them like a hazed dream. They lived on a constant thrill of excitement, with every new detail, every little discovery adding to the build-up of their newfound dynamics. Charlie was driving him home from school every day, and every day they spent quite some time parked in front of Alex's house, just chatting, getting to know more about each other. It was easy to lose track of time. Just yesterday, Alex's mom had appeared at the doorstep to curiously check why her son was taking so long to get inside for the third day in a row. It was a rushed goodbye after that. Alex still hadn't elaborated much to his parents about who Charlie was. 

His haphazard depart didn't go unnoticed by Charlie. That morning at school, they ran into each other a couple of times in the hallways, exchanging smiles and a few hurried words under the curious eyes of their friends, but it wasn't until lunch break that they had time to talk. 

And of course, Charlie's first question was about Alex almost toppling out of his car on his rush to get home once his mom spotted them. 

“You didn't tell your parents yet?” The younger boy asked, peering curiously at Alex from across the table. His eyes were wide and clear an honest-to-god just curious, not holding one single ounce of judgment as he posed the question out loud. 

It was exasperating. Alex had never met anyone so inherently _good_ like Charlie. It turned the mission of picking his growing feelings apart stupidly easy. 

Alex could tell he'd been drawn to Charlie from day one — and this he pinned on the soulmate bond, for sure, but everything he was coming to feel on the subsequent days was because Charlie was, well, _Charlie_. His entire personality — his blind optimism Alex would scoff about if it was anyone else, his inner confidence that bled out into all of his actions, his respect for Alex's wishes and boundaries, his wide-eyed excitement over the smallest things — the more Alex thought about it, the more he could see the things he appreciated about Charlie were particular of his persona. He wouldn't lie, he still wondered if it wasn't the bond making him feel too much too fast — but the fact remained that Alex believed he would still be able to fall for Charlie, easily, soulmate bond or not, just considering the things he was growing so fond of about this boy. 

He let out a sigh and shook his head to Charlie's question, eyes focused on his salad staring judgingly back at him. “No, I didn't.”

“Why not?” Asked Charlie, a faint crease now appearing between his eyebrows. “I mean, sure, I get we're keeping it between us and those close to us for now — but aren't your parents, like, the closest it could get?”

Alex winced, nodding his head in agreement because yeah, Charlie had at a point. “No, you're right, they are. They've been super supportive of me lately, ever since-- well, during all of my recovery, that is,” Alex fumbled with his words, vaguely wondering how he'd let himself be roped into such dangerous territory without even realizing it. “I don't think anything will change that but... You know, before my dad wasn't very open to conversations, and we weren't really close. It's getting better now — _we're_ getting better now but there's still-- I don't know, some kind of residual fear, I think, that he won't be pleased when I tell him you're a boy,” Alex let out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head. “I'm not sure if I'm making any sense.”

“No, you are, actually,” conceded Charlie with a grave expression. “When I told my dad about it, I was a bit worried too, even though we've been very close for some years now. He was never anything but supportive of me on pretty much everything I tried in life, and never showed any bias on who I'd end up paired with for life but I hesitated before telling him anyway. So yeah, I can see how it must be scary if it wasn't always the case with you and your dad.”

There was a lot of info to unpack from everything Charlie had just said, and Alex was finding it hard to know where to start from. His mouth decided for him, though, and when he realized he was already blurting out, “Wait, you told your dad about us?”

“Uh, yeah, I did,” blinked Charlie. “I told him the day we met, actually.”

“You told your dad the same day we met?” Repeated Alex incredulously. 

“Well, yes,” said Charlie defensively. “I just told you, we're very close, and he had an invested interest in it. He was the one who stayed by my side when-- you know. Last year, when my soulmark almost disappeared.”

Alex's breath got stuck in his throat. His eyes didn't move away from Charlie, and the younger boy's were still laser-focused on him as well, watching his every reaction with a mixture of concern and interest. This was the first time since they met that Charlie brought up his marking, flickering into and out of existence by the time Alex was barely surviving, stuck in a coma at the hospital. Alex had to give him credit for not pushing for it right away, but hearing about it still caught him unprepared, even though he knew with every fiber of his being that this wasn't a conversation he'd be able to dodge forever. 

Charlie probably caught the distress on his face because the next thing Alex knew, his hand was reaching over the table, hesitating a few centimeters away from touching Alex's. “Hey, I won't insist for you to tell me about what happened. I just want you to know I'm here for you whenever you want to share this with me.”

When Alex didn't make any move to shy away, Charlie's hand inched forward the remaining distance and met his, the touch light and comforting as the younger boy entwined their fingers on the table top. Alex was instantly reminded of himself doing the same thing a few days ago to bring Charlie back from his fears. So this was what companionship felt like, he thought, gaze still locked on Charlie's thumb tracing soft circles in the back of his hand. This was what he could have if he allowed Charlie completely into his life. 

For a bright, sharp moment, the prospect didn't seem so daunting. 

“I did something I'm not proud of,” started Alex in an uncertain voice, somewhat reluctant and also desperate to get it out of his chest at the same time. Charlie didn't say anything, just squeezed Alex's fingers to lend him some reassurance. His other hand joined their already entwined ones, engulfing Alex's slender fingers in the warm comfort of his hands.

Alex knew he'd have to tell Charlie about his suicide attempt at some point, if they were to fully trust each other with all the parts of themselves before deciding how to move forward together. He couldn't keep this from him forever. But Charlie was the first person in his life in a long time to come completely fresh and drama-free, and who also didn't see Alex through the lenses of his failed attempt and everything that came with it — the self-hatred, the pain, the rage, the regret, all the bad feelings that pushed him towards the slow path to recovery he was still trailing. Alex was finding himself loath to give that up. He liked the way Charlie looked at him, unjudging, unassuming, free of pity or well-meant compassion, eager and interested _in him_ , not in his shortcomings. He didn't want to lose that. He didn't want Charlie looking at him any differently. He didn't want his fond, earnest gaze turning into a distant, uninterested one.

At that moment, Alex realized fully how scared he was that Charlie hated him after learning he tried to end his own life. 

In a bout of mute panic, Alex lifted his eyes from their hands to Charlie's face — which looked just as open and understanding as the first time they'd bumped into one of Alex's many boundaries —, and then a tall figure to the left side of Charlie's head caught his attention. Tyler stood in the middle of the cafeteria, lunch tray in hand, looking torn as his gaze flickered between Alex's table and Clay's, a few feet away — also occupied by Sheri and Justin, the three of them visibly absorbed in a deep discussion Tyler didn't feel like interrupting.

“Tyler!” Alex called out, desperate for a way out of the conversation he'd almost started himself. Tyler's head snapped in his direction, and Alex waved at him with his free hand. “Come sit with us.”

His other hand slipped from Charlie's grasp in a slow, apologetic motion, and Alex pretended not to see the disappointed look on Charlie's face. He turned his attention to his warily approaching friend instead, nodding to the free seat by his side. 

“I don't wanna be a bother,” said Tyler, hovering hesitantly next to their table, eyes mostly focused on Alex darting a sideways glance to Charlie here and there. 

“You're not a bother at all,” reassured Charlie, leaning back on his seat, a smile placed on his face as if seconds ago he wasn't upset by his soulmate unashamedly derailing their conversation. “I'm actually quite interested in knowing Alex's friends better,” he threw Tyler a conspiratory wink. “Can't wait to hear about any stories he'd be too embarrassed to tell me himself.”

“Give up on the evil scheming, will you,” Alex rolled his eyes, so fucking grateful at Charlie for gamely playing along with the change in topics — while part of him felt like he didn't deserve such patience and understanding. “My friends are not ready to shame me at the very first opportunity they get, as opposed to what I've heard about yours. Right, Ty?”

Alex looked up at his friend, gathering his mood. Tyler seemed painfully out of his depth, his knuckles white where he grabbed forcefully at his tray in an attempt to alleviate his tension. He let out a sigh to shake some of the stiffness from his shoulders and took the seat beside Alex, placing his lunch very carefully on top of the table. 

“I don't know about that,” Tyler said, aiming for light but Alex could hear the tremor of uneasiness in his voice. “I'm afraid I don't have any embarrassing stories of Alex to share. But I would if I had them.”

Alex stared at him in disbelief, betrayal seeping into his every word. “How _dare_ you. I thought we were friends.”

“Oh, no, let him talk, I like him!” Said Charlie thoroughly amused, eyes focused on Tyler. “Way to go, buddy — what are friendships for if not for sharing some unharmful dirt about each other here and there?”

“Stop encouraging him,” chastised Alex, swatting at Charlie's forearm with his unused napkin. “Also, I think you might be rudely mistaken on what friendships are for,” he arched his eyebrows to his soulmate before turning back to Tyler. “Don't listen to him, Tyler, he's deceiving. Don't let this pretty face fool you.”

Tyler let out a faint chuckle, shaking his head as a truly amused look bloomed on his face. He looked at Alex for a brief moment before bravely turning his gaze to Charlie. “Well, I'm not sure you know this but despite Alex's self-proclaimed appreciation for classic movies, he's actually a sucker for chick flicks.”

“What the-- _shut the fuck up_ ,” hissed Alex, only half-jokingly. While it pleased him to see Tyler looking more at ease around Charlie, it wasn't in his immediate plans to disclose his begrudging appreciation of _The Fault in Our Stars_ to his soulmate that soon. 

Charlie let out an actual whoop of delight at the news. “Tell me everything,” he begged, leaning forward in his seat excitedly, his full attention focused on Tyler.

There wasn't much Alex could do after that. Charlie proceeded to charm Tyler into telling him more about Alex's secret preferences, and Tyler wasn't shy about disclosing every mildly controversial choice of Alex's that he knew of. Alex was surprised to watch Tyler letting himself be hooked into it but only a little. He could tell, even in his begrudging, unamused state, that Charlie had that captivating aura working for his benefit. 

But he had to draw the line when their conversation turned to _Back to the Future._

“Okay, that's enough, you two,” said Alex when Tyler shily made a very sharp point about the saga's plot holes. “You can badmouth _Back to the Future_ all you want but it was extremely innovative at the time it was released, and the main focus about it should be how they managed to successfully build a convincing time travel narrative while still in the fucking 80s, for fuck's sake.”

“Alex, Marty's parents fail to recognize their own son,” said Tyler reasonably. 

“I don't fucking care, my point still stands,” insisted Alex. “It's easy to see this now after years of people overanalyzing this movie but back then it was revolutionary.”

“Yeah, to be honest, I'm here trashing on it and everything but I have to admit it was one of my favorite movies as a kid,” confessed Charlie with a grimace. 

“Are you serious?” Tyler raised his eyebrows. “Just when I was starting to get a good impression out of you.”

“ _As a kid_ being the key,” stressed Charlie. “Don't throw it all away just yet, I grew out of it eventually.”

“Well, now you're disappointing me,” stated Alex with a frown. “ _Back to the Future_ is a classic, you don't just _grow out of it_.”

Charlie grimaced and winced and looked a lot like he was about to confess to a horrible crime before he sighed in defeated admission. “Okay, I confess. I still maintain a small set of collectibles from when I was a kid--”

“Knew it!” Said Alex victoriously. 

“Oh, man, what are you saying,” Tyler shook his head. 

“-- _but_ it's mostly because I put it together with my parents as I grew up, so it feels special,” added Charlie quickly. “I can recognize, though, at this point in my life that the movies have flaws, all of them. Sorry, Alex.”

“You are both hopeless,” sighed Alex tiredly.

They amicably disagreed some more about _Back to the Future_ , Charlie and Tyler insisting on disproving the movie's main plotline while Alex stubbornly stood his ground. There was a peculiar mood hovering over their table, where the three of them seemed aware of the effort being put into making things look easy and comfortable, and still, they persisted, until things did become less stiff and awkward — it was fake it until you make it at its finest. The bell rang not too long after that, and they had to cut their conversation short to get to class.

“I'll see you after practice,” said Charlie gently, handing Alex his cane as they stood up.

His fingers lingered warmly on Alex's wrist, squeezing just enough for Alex to know, with utmost certainty even without a word being exchanged between them, that this was Charlie letting him know he wasn't upset with Alex suddenly inviting Tyler to their table in the middle of what otherwise would have been a very tense, very serious conversation. Charlie offered them a last smile and followed in the opposite direction for his next class. 

Tyler helped Alex with his backpack on the way to their next period. They had already walked a fair distance from the cafeteria when his friend said, “He actually seems nice.”

“He is,” Alex agreed, sneaking one glance at Tyler. “But you sound surprised.”

“Well, weren't you?” Asked Tyler, and he was probably the only person in the world that managed to pose such a question without an ounce of sarcasm in this voice. It was just plain curiosity that Alex heard. 

“I was, actually,” admitted Alex. “I was the most surprised ever when he came out to be so-- _different_ from all the other boy jocks we know.”

Tyler nodded, eyes straight ahead as he added. “You seem comfortable around him.”

Alex took a few seconds to reply with a small, “I am.” He chanced one look at Tyler and sighed, the guilt that was nagging at him for days bubbling out of his chest. “Listen, Ty. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about Charlie before you noticed. It's been really odd news to deliver, considering how we're handling everything between us, and you know. You seem to have a lot on your plate already, to the point this soulmate thing and its problems sound so silly in comparison. I never managed to figure out an appropriate way to broach this subject with you.”

Tyler just nodded again, and they walked the remaining distance to their classroom in an odd, silent understanding. Just a few feet before they reached the door, Tyler spoke up again. 

“You're my friend, Alex. You're the only person I don't second guess why is even bothering to put up with me because you were there already before-- well, before everything. You don't have to feel like you can't share things about yourself with me. If you feel like it, that is, even if they do sound silly in your head,” he stopped before they entered their classroom, handing Alex his backpack with an intent, honest look on his face. “I'm always here for you. Whatever it is that you want to share.”

Alex smiled, accepting his bag from Tyler's hands, a warm feeling spreading across his chest. “I know, Ty. I know.” He looked up at his friend, earnestness and gratitude seeping into his tone. “Thank you.”

Tyler offered him a small smile back, opening the door for him to enter the classroom first. Alex knew a thing or two about his friend to understand they were all good now.

* * *

Alex didn't mind texting. Actually, it was his favorite manner of communicating with his friends — the problem is, his sometimes uncooperative thumbs could grow tired really fast, depending on the day, or how long he spent typing. He'd mentioned that to Charlie a couple of days ago, when a particularly bad day for his coordination was slowing down his texting abilities, and the younger boy had suggested they tried video calls instead.

Alex hated showing up on camera. But he hated more not talking to Charlie — so he caved. 

“So,” said Charlie that night as they FaceTimed after getting their homework out of the way. “What are you doing this Saturday?”

Charlie's eyes kept sneaking glances someplace to the right of Alex's screen. Alex could listen to the low rumble of a football game narration playing in the background. 

He rolled his eyes. Trying to battle for Charlie's attention when his team was playing could be a hardship. He snorted a chuckle through his nose, shaking his head amusedly. 

“Just go watch your game, Charlie. I'll talk to you tomorrow at school,” said Alex. 

“No, hang on, it's just a rerun. Just--” Charlie scurried for the remote, almost disappearing entirely from the screen before coming back fully, eyes a bit wide and intent on Alex. “Sorry, I was zapping and got a bit caught up.”

“Of all the people in the world,” said Alex, torn between fondness and exasperation, “I'm still not over Fate hooking me up with a football jock.”

“Yeah, yeah, we've been through this one a lot these last days,” Charlie waved with his hand dismissively, and this time Alex grinned. He _had_ said that quite a few times during that week. “So, Saturday. What are your plans?”

Alex shrugged, making a quick search in his head just to make sure he didn't have anything planned. “I don't have any so far. Why, what are you thinking?”

“My dad will be out for the weekend on a business trip,” informed Charlie. “He does that a lot, actually, ever since he got a promotion. So I was wondering,” he started, voice and expression a bit hesitant, and Alex had an inkling where this was going, “if you'd like to come over for us to hang out here in the weekend. I could show you those _Back to the Future_ collectibles I was telling you about.”

Knowing where Charlie was headed with his suggestion didn't make Alex any more ready to answer it. He just sat there and stared at Charlie, not a sound coming out of his mouth as he felt something warm and tingling slowly spreading through his lower stomach. 

Was this panic? Or was it excitement? Maybe a bit of both? Alex didn't have the time to properly assess what the fuck it was before Charlie was speaking again, rushing to add on a frantic tone. “Or not, we don't have to do that. It was just an idea. We could do something downtown instead, maybe hit The Crestmont--”

“You want me to come over to your house when your dad's not around?” Blurted out Alex, cutting off Charlie's nervousness with his own. Alex was sure his was more visible, though. Charlie had that easygoing manner working for him even when he was nervous himself — Alex was just now learning how to identify his telling signs better (he tended to lick his lips a lot and to speak faster than usual. It was so fucking endearing, and if Alex didn't know how mean it would be to push for situations where he could purposefully make Charlie nervous, he'd very much aim for that). 

Charlie pondered his question for a moment, head tilting to the side as he considered. “Well, I'd love it if you came over when my dad's around as well,” he mused, pensively, “but you were the one to say you don't want to do the 'meet your parents' thing just yet--”

“I don't,” stressed Alex, eyes not leaving Charlie as he tried to calm his heart down. 

“-- so I figured the best opportunity for you to come here that didn't involve me lying to my dad about who you are — which I won't, by the way — was a circumstance where he wasn't around,” reasoned Charlie. “And so... here we are.”

Alex just stared some more at Charlie, part of him wondering how the fuck did he manage to sound so eloquent when Alex knew for a fact he was nervous. The other part of his mind was running wildly, creating a shit ton of scenarios that involved him alone with Charlie at his house when his dad was away. It wasn't like they hadn't spent time on their own together this week, but those instances took place at very public spaces, always with people around even if not specifically with them. Being with Charlie in his house — fuck, _in his room_ maybe — was a completely different thing. 

Alex could tell some of the possibilities playing in his head were making him blush. What he couldn't tell for sure was if Charlie was able to see it from the other side of the screen — but judging from his soft, amending tone, something must have shown in Alex's face anyway. 

“Alex, it's okay if you don't want to come,” he reassured. “I swear it's fine, we can do something else--”

“No, I do want to,” Alex cut him off. He could tell from Charlie's uncertain face that he wasn't fully buying it, so he added more firmly. “I want to go. I wanna spend the Saturday with you, and finally get to see your famous action figure collection. You won't shut up about it, despite allegedly not liking the movie anymore, and I'm sure you're just talking yourself up cause there's no way you have that DeLorean limited edition you've been bragging about.”

Charlie let out a surprised laugh, shaking his head in amusement. He lifted one finger to wave it at Alex in mock-reprimand. “They're all special edition, I'll have you know.” His expression softened as he stared at Alex. “Are you sure? You don't have to feel like you gotta come just because I suggested it.”

“I'm not, I swear. I wanna do this,” Alex confirmed, and it was true. But Charlie didn't seem convinced. So Alex let his breath out in a huff, willing his tension out with it, and struggled to find that honesty he and Charlie had promised to stick to. “I just started freaking out a little at the idea of being all alone with you. In your house.”

Charlie nodded slowly. “Okay, I get that,” his eyes searched Alex's worriedly. “But you know nothing has to happen, right? We don't have to do anything different than what we've been doing these last few days — we don't have to do anything you don't want to, ever.”

Alex bit his lip to keep in his nervous laugh. Well, and wasn't that exactly the problem. 

“Yeah, I know, I know that. I know you'll never try anything I don't wanna do,” said Alex, the palms of his hands slightly sweaty as he gathered up the courage to add. “That's the thing, though. The things I've been wanting-- maybe they're changing a little. With the time we're spending together.”

Alex couldn't say for sure but given how still Charlie was on the other side of the screen, he'd be willing to bet the younger boy was holding his breath. 

“Oh,” was all Charlie said, and it sounded strangled and surprised and hopeful, everything in just one syllable, and this time Alex did let out a mirthful chuckle because _oh indeed_.

“Yeah,” he sighed, one hand lifting to run through his hair, anxious energy coursing through his body. 

“I didn't know that?” Said Charlie, still looking stunned. 

“Well, I'm telling you now,” offered Alex, amused. 

“No, I know, just-- what exactly are we talking about here? Cause I'm afraid I might be jumping to conclusions,” frowned Charlie. 

“I'm pretty sure you're not,” Alex arched his eyebrows, “but I'll humor you. Remember yesterday when we were at lunch, and you wouldn't stop going about your new practice routines?”

“You were the one asking about them in the first place,” said Charlie defensively. 

“I know,” conceded Alex, “but only because I needed you talking about something really boring to distract myself from how much I wanted to kiss you. In the middle of the cafeteria.”

“Holy shit,” blurted out Charlie, eyes as wide as saucers. 

“My thoughts exactly,” pointed out Alex, too amused at Charlie's reaction to care about being self-conscious. 

“I'm-- _Jesus._ Why didn't you?” Asked Charlie, baffled. 

“Why didn't I? I'll say it again, slowly this time: the fucking cafeteria,” enunciated Alex, voice rolling sarcastically over his vowels. “With the whole school around us, this is not how I pictured our first kiss.”

Alex only realized what he'd said when Charlie's expression turned into open curiosity with a sprinkle of hope on top. “You imagined our first kiss?”

“That's not the main-- I think I wanna stop talking now,” he declared. But Charlie's gaze remained glued on him, hopeful and pleading, and Alex ended up caving, with a mighty roll of his eyes. “Fine, okay, Jesus, you're the worst. _Yes,_ I fucking imagined it, can you just drop it now.”

“Dropping it now,” agreed Charlie but his expression was still too soft for Alex to believe he was off the hook. “But I have to say-- you know you _can_ kiss me, right? Maybe not in the school cafeteria, I get what you mean there, but like. Any other moment we're together — I mean, you do know I want to kiss you, don't you?”

“I do, yeah,” said Alex, and it was his turn to sound strangled. Yes, he knew Charlie wanted to kiss him. Probably ever since the day their markings showed, if Alex knew anything about the boy and his ultraromantic view of the soulmate bond. 

And now Alex wanted it too. And to be honest, this newfound desire hadn't sneaked up on him and caught him by surprise just yesterday. It had been growing on his core like a small fire, burning brighter as the days passed — harmless at first, and then spreading to the point there was no way he could ignore it anymore. Lately, every minute Alex spent beside Charlie was a minute he had to consciously refrain from giving in to his increasing urge to touch him. 

And he wasn't even referring to kissing only. Sometimes he just wanted to lean into Charlie and rest his tired weight against the younger boy's solid frame as they waited for the lunch queue to move. Sometimes he would see Charlie right after practice and he wouldn't mind if he was sweaty, all Alex wanted to do was to reach out and smooth his helmet hair down. Sometimes as they walked the distance from the school to Charlie's car, Alex just felt like coming closer and holding Charlie's hand on his. And he knew he could do that. He knew the younger boy wouldn't object to it — on the contrary, Charlie would probably welcome his touch and pull him closer so he could retribute it in that eager, affectionate manner of his. 

And fuck, Alex was coming to learn that he wanted this too, he wanted Charlie to show him his affection this way. He'd noticed from the way Charlie acted with his friends that he was a physical person — his love language had a lot of hugs and fist bumps and shoulder clasps included. But with Alex, he so far had kept a sort of mindful distance. Alex could tell this was because Charlie didn't want him to feel pressured or overwhelmed — and he'd be damned if this didn't make him so desperately fond of this boy who went out of his way just to make Alex feel at ease.

“Ok, cool, just checking we're on the same page,” mused Charlie, eyes a bit wide as he quickly added. “I don't mean to sound like I'm pushing for it, though.”

“You're not,” reassured Alex immediately. “We settled for being forward with how we felt about each other, so I really appreciate you letting me know about that-- literally from the beginning,” joked Alex.

“Yeah, I mean, I appreciate you telling me this now too,” said Charlie, still sounding baffled, “though I don't think I recovered yet. You don't just drop such a line on a guy like that, Alex, what the hell.”

Alex laughed this time, eyes rolling in disbelief. “Shut up. You're telling me you didn't notice?”

Charlie shook his head. “I don't think I did? I mean, I did feel the tension between us but overall I've been feeling pretty intense stuff all the time, so there's that. I think focusing on not acting on it consumed more of my attention than I first assumed.”

Alex felt a pang of guilt in his chest. “I'm sorry about that,” he grimaced. 

“No, it's fine, don't apologize,” dismissed Charlie easily. “I'm actually realizing it's good to give myself time to figure things out, you know? Not gonna lie, probably wouldn't have suggested it myself but not jumping into it headfirst is giving me-- I don't know... Perspective, I think?”

“What do you mean?” Asked Alex, heartbeat thrumming faster with Charlie baring up his feelings like that. 

“I was ready to like you, whoever you were, just for being my soulmate. You know that already,” elaborated Charlie. “But if you were anything like I expected you to be, we'd probably be dating by now — and as sure as I am it'd be lovely, I can't be so sure I would be liking you for you. Not at first, I mean. And it feels backwards? To get together first and then grow feelings later?”

“I think I'm rubbing off on you more than you noticed,” said Alex, joking to distract himself from the earnestness in Charlie's words. 

“I think you are, too,” agreed Charlie pensively. “And I'm happy to let it happen. It's good to be liking Alex for Alex first. I feel like it bonds us further, maybe more than the soulmate bond ever could on its own.”

Alex swallowed thickly, nodding along because _fuck yes,_ that was how he felt too. Charlie had such a knack to put into words what Alex struggled to make sense of in his head. It constantly amazed him — how in tune Charlie seemed to be with his feelings, and how often such feelings seemed to mirror Alex's inner turmoil of emotions, that he always had a hard time sorting through. 

“I like liking you for you too,” repeated Alex almost in a whisper. Charlie's face lit up with a smile, and Alex's lips curved upwards in return, warm and intimate. 

“So,” said Charlie, cheeks slightly flushed in the yellow light of his room, a tell Alex had come to learn meant he was excited about something. “We're cool for Saturday?”

Alex's smile turned into a grin. He nodded, not a sliver of doubt left on him. “Yeah. Saturday will be great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lighter note, as promised! Who has expectations for their Saturday together? Let me know your thoughts!  
> As always, thank you so much for reading, you guys make my day with your comments. See you guys next week <3


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